Yes, you can shelve it. Maybe just say happy day if you see him, but I wouldn't do anything else.

And as far as telling him about other plans, simply tell him other plans have been made and you don't want to disappoint the kids.

Maybe you need to go dark? You might consider....

M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D