Postponing Father's Day

[Sophie]

I've been feeling little weird, didn't really know where it was coming from...then it hit me.

Father's Day is next weekend and....I feel obligated to do something. But, I feel obligated to ME to do...nothing!

I just want the day to slip by...just as my WAH has...slipped away from his kids and family life.

I'm anticipating a repeat from the last two years, and I don't want to participate in making a hero out of a man who has not been a father to our kids for 3 years now. He has only been around for 2 months out of this year,since Sept, and that was this Mar. and Apr. for soccer season.

The kids have been making plans with their friends already...swimming, theme park, friend's bday, and the opening of our subdivision's pool. H can partake in the pool opening if it actually happens, but he hasn't been interested in anything in this neighborhood.

It's okay if H remains 'invisible' as he as been again, since Mother's Day, which he did not acknowledge for me at all.

I don't know what to say if he 'appears' out of the woodwork (ha...he is in custom woodworking...that wasn't meant to be a pun, be that's what he has devoted himself to since he moved out)...anyway,

....if he appears via text, email, phone...etc...because Father's Day is Sunday, (as he has the last two Father's day)...how do I let him know...other plans have been made?

The last two years, I have put all aside, made the kids spend the weekend at home, and I've made him dinner, bought gifts...I even bought him two weeks of groceries for HIS house.

Two weeks later, both years, he disappears after telling me, he has no plans to move back or be married.

I can't give anymore to have it thrown back in my face.

I try to give as a friend would do, and he appreciates it at the time. But, then he gets....worse toward me.

It has been good for me to have NC and My Own Life....but, days like Father's Day, his Bday, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter....stress me out.

It's really hard to not be able to give what you feel to someone. It's sad...but, it's getting easier. It also sort of feels more healthy to put what I have to offer to H, on the shelf for now.

So...can I shelve Father's Day?

What do I owe this WAD...(Walk-away-Dad)???