HELP! What do you do when your ready to give up?

[Tink]

Dear Tink and JenJam,
if/when H sees that he really does miss me I'll get another "shoe drop".

What do you mean? Can you tell us about the other shoe drops you have experienced?

I feel like that friendship has to be repaired before we can even try to build a new one.

That's right. That's a good way to think about it.

Have any of you ever dealt with that kind of thing?

My first husband had a very low sex drive. Also he always rejected me whenever I initiated sex. We only had sex when he initiated it. So I think there were control issues there, besides sex drive.

But when we were first dating, we broke up and when we started again, I worked out with him and he said I never worked out with a girl friend before, and that was when I knew we were becoming friends and the relationship was going to be stronger.

But I think if I were going to do this now, I would reject him during the few times he wanted sex. Not in a mean way, more in a coy way, to make him want more and to change the balance of the relationship.

But I guess I need to be friends with myself too no matter what H does or doesn't do... I feel really I will re-commit myself to loving me first, and then try to let reconciliation run it's (slow) course with H!

This is right and very wise. Keep focusing on yourself and doing good things for you and pamper yourself and find new interests and rediscover old ones.

Tink