Pregnant and trying to be stronger

[blindsided1]

Pretty much when he screws up, he blames whoever is involved. It is often his parents or me. WE are the problem, always. His parents just ignore it and try to rationalize with him, but he doesn't ever take accountability. He hasn't talked to them in a while, either. I'm sad again today. I just miss him and I keep begging for it to go away. I'm tired of missing him. I'm tired of loving someone that doesn't love me back. I'm trying to keep busy, but today, for some reason is NOT good. Last night H called breifly. The whole time we were on the phone (5min) he was texting OW. I would have to keep saying "are you still there?" because there were lulls in the conversation - he just wasn't listening - too busy texting while he was talking to me. I don't know what to do about this. Is it okay for me to just say "look, why don't you call me back when you are finished". It is so rude and disrespectful and it hurts to think that he can't go 5 minutes without texting her? WTH? When he is at the hospital and when he comes to the house to see the baby, I think that I am going to insist that he leave his phone in the truck. It's completely rude and totally juvenille. My Mom was saying that she thinks it's a pathology. Literally, and I am not exaggerating, they text about 4000times a month (each of them). That's over 100 text messages a day. What could you possibly have to say in a text? Maybe this is how they communicate. H is terrible at communication and he isn't very good with emotion either. So, maybe he likes communicating this way - it's emotionless. And, lo and behold, he found someone perfect for him that likes it too. Maybe they were meant for each other. They both seem pretty immature and self centered. That doesn't bode well for any kind of reconciliation with me. I'm just not that kind of person. I like to hear the voice of the man I love. Not spend hours on end typing into a little phone. So, maybe it is very possible that he has met the woman of his dreams. Doesn't quite seem fair that he hurt so many people to get her. Doesn't seem very fair that I get to suffer the consequences in pain and hurt and betrayal for his happiness.