EnergyAZ you seem to have very good advice so I need some input. So my W stopped by with friend, showed me some pics of some cars she is looking at, so we talked about that for a few min. I got the light on the truck fixed and she was happy about that. Said she would call later or tomorrow to see when we can do more car looking. Here is where things get to me: she looked so beautiful and getting to see her in person it always makes me get a strong urge to talk about us. Resisting this temptation is damn hard. I feel like other people and priorities are more in her life than I am at all, but I guess for her and now that is normal I think, it just really sucks a lot. She is so beautiful to me looks wise and in many other ways as a person too. I don't think I'm in the clear by far and this may be a long road to recovery, but we have had some positive interaction this weekend and she hasn't mentioned D in a good while. I think she is trying to figure things out. Besides our counselor I'm pretty sure she doesn't have as many resources of support or the support system that I do cause she is trying to do a lot of it on her own. Anyway seeing her and the pain that fallows when she leaves, sometimes it makes me want to cry just cause I miss her, her touch, her love, her daily presence and so on. I noticed that she seem to have this blah kinda non-peaceful not totally happy look on her face. I think she may be finding out that running and doing what she wants will only bring temporary happiness but it will not fill the void that her H does. This is also one reason I have backed off for her to do what she wants. I am going do my best to stay focused on me, continue to learn, and pray for both of us that God will restore our marriage and we will reconcile. Deep down I have a good feeling about this, just don't know the when, but God does!
