WAW...now LBS part III

[HOPEFULinCALI]

The latest:

Per my H's invitation I invited him to dinner downtown last Saturday. I thought, although it was still dinner, it would be a nice change of atmosphere from our boring part of town. I was hoping to go to the bar upstairs afterwards to have the talk my coach suggested since the restaurant was outrageously loud but he called the night short to do homework (yeah right, at 10pm).

I decided to have the talk in the car b/c I was leaving town on Monday and didn't want to wait another week plus to talk again in person. The following is the convo summarized.

1. I asked about the saving being cleared out and that I wasn't upset but just wanted to know that he took the money otherwise we should call the bank. He responded that it wasn't him who cleared it out (just like he didn't charge up the credit card).

2. I mentioned several of his actions (including that he tells a lot of people that knows he is/was married that he is divorced. His response was that he just didn't want to explain the situation and that we will be divorce but that it was a matter of paperwork)and asked if he was telling me that there was no relationship and was trying to erase all traces of me in his life. He responded that it wasn't that but that he was just trying to transition back to the single life. I told him that I got it.

3. I asked if he was trying to take revenge for me leaving him and if that was the case that I thought it was damaging at this point. No response.

4. I asked if he thought I would be a harm to him b/c people were getting that impression. His response was no.

5. I explained that I wanted to separate the car insurance and phone and set up an account that I would contribute to and he could use for the house (he asked again for me to pay for a bill, the home insurance). He again fought it like he did before by saying that he had no problem paying for it and didn't want me to struggle. I said that I thought he would want to keep things separate and to forward me the bills. He said he would like to keep things sep. and would forward me the bills.


I told him that I need to do some serious thinking but that I wanted clarification before making a decision about what to do next. He asked, "a decision about what? Our friendship?". I told him that I didn't know and he asked that I let him know. I told him that I would. According to my coach I would tell him that I am not ready to talk. Well he called once and texted a few times during my travel about misc. things that he needed for his CHP application. I missed the call and responded to all by text.

I just don't understand why he lies about anything and everything; half of which there is no reason to lie about.
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Here is my dilemma:

I haven't contacted him in over a week except to respond to him. What do I do next. His friend is coming the last week of the month and he is leaving with him after a week to go to New York to visit the girl that visited during memorial day weekend and some other friends. He is also going to Greece for the fourth time without me at the end of July(3 of which were for a month, the last of which he turned into Mr. Hyde). We aren't making any progress and his visits with his friends seem to always set us back. With his trip to Greece just around the corner and the result from his last trip I am in a bit of a panic.

My other dilemma: An officer called about his backround investigation for the CHP. I am expected to return his phone call, but I have no idea what they will ask or how to respond.