You know, we learn that ignoring problems and hoping that they will go away is a bad idea. Our parents and life in general teach us as much.
But DB'ing is counter intuitive.
There is this issue between you and your wife. Your efforts to this point have been motivated by a desire to make that issue go away. And ironically, the changes in YOU make it possible that, for the time being at least, you may well be able to ignore this issue and in the process see it slowly slip away.
Don't misunderstand me. At some point, the decision she made will have to be revisited explicitly by the two of you. She will drive this revisiting at a time when she is ready to open the subject up for discussion. For your part, the longer she puts it off, the better I think that is for a good outcome.
As you have seen, I am not one who is very good at ignoring a problem. This process has helped me tremendously in learning to control my obsessiveness. Yes the control issue comes out here in my words that I type, but never have I been able, in the real world, to be so comfortable with not being able to directly confront someone who I have an issue with, be it my wife or someone else.
I have never thought about this situation as something to be "ignored" but the way you put that it makes sense. It is not an infected cut, a leaky roof or a physical issue that needs immediate attention....it is an emotional ailment that just may be able to heal a little on it's own until she decides that we can "cure" it completely...together.
