Thanks for responsing lolaL ,Long story. We married in 79 madly in love.Within 2 yrs he was being unfaithful and has been ever since on and off. I was in denial most of the time and he was always kind but distant- we had no intimacy from early years but didnt talk about it. Never argued- just lived seperate lives but enjoyed each others company. As I moved towards retirement we (I) had planned to move back to my home town to have more of a life with my daughter,grandchildren and sister. He never would talk about future plans and became very tense- couldnt sleep,stomach problems etc. Then last May- Bomb. He started sobbing one Sunday and said he couldnt move with me, we both needed an "adult" relationship-he had accused me of behaving like a little girl which I guess I did sometimes.He admitted a recent affair which he had ended but felt terrible about"I hurt somebody really badly" (what about me?!) I had a sort of breakdown and moved in with my daughter for 6 months. We communicated every couple of weeks. Had mediation- Then some counselling but his heart wasnt in it.Around Christmas I began to use some DB techniques and he renewed interest "You have changed can we postpone the divorce?"But OW is still around where he lives and he an d he ad mits strong feelings for her.At moment I havent heard from him for 9 days and really dont know what to do. I am stronger than last year but still not strong enough to send off the final divorce paper as long as he is saying he loves me, doesnt want divorce but doesnt know what will happen.I would be happy to leave things but I stop work in July and need financial settlement-my pension is not enough to live on.In my heart I feel he will regret it if we divorce he is really frightened of it I have said if that happens I never want to see him again as I feel he didnt give us a chance. I really need an impartial view on this-my family think I am crazy to hang on but I love the man and hate to see his weakness,pain and confusion.Sorry long post but feel really desperate with the roller coaster! Anyway,Love from England!
