Thanks for stopping by brokenhearted. I was so positive when I first picked up DR and started trying to save my marriage. And it's been hard to decipher what's really going on because W acts like she wants/misses my friendship but is focused solely on Ding rather than how to make things work. I know she checked out of M a long time before I did but still don't understand why she never said she was unhappy.
But the OP is the wrench in our sitches and it's hard to appreciate how big that wrench is. I think the most telling thing W ever said to me was that she didn't realize she was unhappy until she spent several weeks in the field with OM - that's when he seduced her. Hmmm - she shuts down to our M and the possibility of making it work at the same moment she becomes emotionally/physically involved with someone else? But she insists it has nothing to do with it.
When our spouses are involved in an active EA or PA there isn't a lot we can DB-wise other than work on ourselves. Our spouses have to show remorse and a willingness to approach the M.
