"And that ladies and gentlemen is the big white elephant. It sits out there and makes me feel like I have two separate lives. I have one week where I am a full time dad, and then another week where I am a free man and do as I please. It is kind of conflicting because I am very big on stability in my life and this is about as unstable as things have been for me. "
I so understand this, but try to see it as having variety not instabilty. I get the feeling you are being too hard on yourself as though you feel your halo has slipped? maybe I am wrong. This may not go anywhere, but for now it's giving you some much needed respite. Nor does it mean you are both going to get hurt. Honesty is the key here,not a white elephant. Be kinder to yourself.
