I got a call from W around 7:20 while I was in line at Blockbuster and she says "We need to talk." I called her back once we left the store and she starts telling me about how D got mad at her in the car, took off her necklace, and hit W in the face w/ it while she was driving. As a result, D was in a big timeout when W called.
Now W said D's actions were so different since she returned from being w/ me - said it may have been b/c we were out w/ another woman and her son, her sleep pattern was thrown off, etc. Needless to say, it was all my fault. However, W then said, we need to begin to learn to talk w/ each other so we can effectively co-parent.
I just let her talk. I did tell her how I discipline D when needed, I told her I approved of how she handled the situation, I told her I was sorry for her being physically hurt by D, and agreed that raising D is the top priority over everything. The conversation went on a bit, then I brought up the house repairs and W shifted to talk about the movie they saw - Kung Fu Panda - earlier in the day.
It was here that I took a stab and told W that D's decision to call her the other day and ask for more time w/ me to be able to see the movie was 100% from D and D alone. I let her know I in no way encouraged or endorsed it and I have not ever sought to use D as a tool to get me more time w/ her.
W was quiet for a while then said "we need to figure out a way to find the middle point between what you believe I'm doing and what I believe you're doing." I wanted to respond w/ something I'm sure I would have regretted, but held my tongue and just let her talk. To me this is an easy fix - trust the other parent that they are doing what is in the best interest of the child.
W went on to say "We do need to work on getting along b/c we'll always be co-parenting D. The problem is it is so hard to do right now b/c we are at war." She then wanted me to agree that we were at war. I guess if you were France and Germany attacked you for no reason, you'd be at war. I'm like France here, except I'm fighting back - a very un-France-like thing to do. So, technically, I am at "war" but only because I was attacked, not b/c I want to be fighting. Oh, well!
So then I talk briefly to D, tell her calmly how her actions were inappropriate and why, and then she said she'd call me later and hung up. W then sends a text asking me if I was ok, if I wanted to talk to D before she went to bed and then threw in "BTW-Dad's white cell counts have elevated." Well, W's father has non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, so this is bad news. I text back asking if she was ok and she replies saying she doesn't know how to answer and she reminds me to call my step-mother as it was her birthday yesterday - I had forgotten.
So, I reply thanking her (remember, she'll want to have me assassinated if I don't thank her) and told her I was calling my step-mom right then. I get a text roughly 15 minutes later asking if I'm still on the phone, then another five minutes after that, D calls to talk to me again. I get off the phone and call D back and we talk for 15 minutes until she hands the phone off to W again.
This time, W talks to me about how scared she is that her father will die soon and then reveals her mother just had surgery for cancer of the mouth yesterday. So, now she is getting emotional and crying about it and I'm trying to just listen, support, and affirm. Then she asks me "are we on the record or off the record?" I really don't know WTF is going on, so I say "off the record" and she pipes in w/ this:
Quote:
Your father isn't very young any more either and if he does pass, I am willing to go w/ you to his funeral to be there to support you emotionally b/c I know it will be very difficult on you.
WTF???? WTF????? Ok, Dad is almost 80 and he's going to die someday, but this whole statement is so confusing to me. First of all, she wants to be "off the record" so she doesn't officially contradict every little lie she's spread about me on the record. Secondly, why does she want to be there to support me emotionally? Do you support the abusive person who berated you for all those years and then raped you? No you don't. Of course not. That would be crazy. Then why would she offer? I don't know, maybe b/c she knows damn good and well that I didn't do those things and I'm not the person she says I am to everyone else.
This is totally CRAZY and now I'm so messed up I don't know what to do. I really wish she'd figure out if she needed me in her life or wanted me out. She is so frustrating. Why do people have to lose their minds and turn on us? It is pretty clear to me that she doesn't want me out of her life, but yet she says all these things about me in public.
I can't do much more of this. I think I really need this D to move on so I can start to recover from the battering I'm taking here. Who knows what W will eventually think, feel, and do? All I know is she's got a lot of crap to shovel up and I'm not willing to eat any more of it.
So, that was my night yesterday. I finished talking w/ W and then watched the 300. I think the two were similar - the relationship w/ my W right now and the relationship b/t the Spartans and Persians. Both bloody, gory, and perversely entertaining.
This morning, I got up at 4:30 and played 18 holes of golf for the first time in 6 months. The score wasn't great, but I was like a number 16 seed in the NCAA men's basketball tournament - just happy to be there. Now, I'm going to head to the gym while I'm still awake and get my cardio work in. After that, it may be nap time, but I'm not sure as of yet.
