If you / Don't care for it

[MichelleLT]

Me: morning
Me: how you feeling?
H: neh, how are you feeling?
Me: okay. a bit stressed out
H: you are good at understating things
H: look lets sit down and talk sometime if you want
Me: well, when would you like to talk then?
H: I don't know when I'll be back tomorrow
Me: I have a final on Monday and I have a study group tomorrow
H: later this evening may work, if you are meaning to talk, I'd have said no for dinner as a date. But we can meet. I ought to be free from another engagement by 7

[MichelleLT]

Me: sounds like you've already got quite a busy weekend planned
H: i've been cooped up, needed to get out of the house
Me: well, i am keeping myself cooped up so i can study this weekend. maybe tuesday or wednesday will work better
H: sounds good
Me: okay, let me know
Me: GL with your finals
H: thanks, take care

[One Day]

No to dinner as a date?! From the man who wanted to date?! He is completely confused- obviously doesn't know what he wants.

Deep breath, LT. Try to focus on the finals for now if you can.

(((hugs))))

L. xx

[mishka422]

I agree with Lisa. Focus on the finals because that man has NO focus at all!

You are you're number 1 priority. Take care of you.

((((hugs))))

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((((Michelle)))))))

Oh, boy. I guess at some point you'll need to go to your parent's, so you'll know what the heck he's talking about!

In some ways it was great that you were asleep last night, responding probably would have set him off even more! I think putting him off for a couple days is a good thing, to, he needs to cool off a bit!

[MichelleLT]

I guess. I'm thinking about going over there now. I can't say I'm getting much studying done.

And my roommate is at work, and I'm lonely.

[Virtually_Handsome]

(((((Michelle)))))

I wish I had something smart to say. I just reread the initial drivel, I think the fact that he mentioned SWB (or some OW?) screams that she is at some level behind this. Otherwise, he wouldn't have mentioned it at all.

Think before you act, I'm not sure talking to him today is going to be productive!

[MichelleLT]

I just reread the initial drivel, I think the fact that he mentioned SBW (or some OW?) screams that she is at some level behind this. Otherwise, he wouldn't have mentioned it at all.

I also found it interesting that he felt it necessary to say it wasn't about any OW. It made me think it was, at least at some level, as well. Or maybe it's about his guilt about the OW, or at least his defensiveness.

[cw68]

(((michelle)))

This is tough stuff to have to read. It's tough enough to have to deal with it, but waking up to that really blows.

I wish I had some great advice or words of wisdom here, but I don't. Perhaps the best plan of action is to do what you gut tells you to do. What does your gut tell you to do?

I think the legal separation is a good middle ground for people like us who don't want a divorce or believe it's the answer. It covers us financially and gives them a little. Personally, I would have the papers say you a separated before he deploys, it's just the right thing to do if he isn't sharing any of that extra money he's getting with you like it's assumed he would.

I guess for the short term, go study, rock your exam! Do something, anything, to busy yourself and not wallow. Let me know if you want to meet up for an early 2nd Saturday coffee or something. I'll have the kids with me and my friend isn't playing at Java City next weekend, he's playing tonight. Actually, there you go! Go sit at Java City tonight for some studying and some live music. Tommy starts at 7pm.

[MichelleLT]

I don't think he's looking at legal S though. I suspect he's pushing to do the summary dissolution again. Which I definitely don't want to do.

But if he's gonna be gone for another year starting in a couple months, I feel like nothing is going to be able to improve with all that distance again. I mean, that's how things went wrong the first time!!! And I really don't want to sit around waiting for him to come home again, not knowing where he'll decide home is! It was hard enough having him deploy the first time when we had a great R and we were there for each other emotionally.

I feel like every time we have seen each other in the last 6 months, things have gone well. We get along, we chat. It's been pretty good. And it always takes a couple days for the goodness to wear off and his doubts to come back. I feel like if we saw each other MORE we could make some progress. And now he wants to leave again. Leave the country, leave the M, abandon me yet again - physically, emotionally, financially, etc.

Relaxing tonight sounds like a good idea. Maybe Java City is a good idea.