OK. Well, so you got the knee-jerk rejection letter. Now, I think you need to go dark and wait for him to come back to you. Rome wasn't built in a day.
More than ever, I believe the two of you need Retrouvaille. Why? Because Retrouvaille teaches both spouses how to write an effective letter. That was not a good letter. That was an accusatory, blaming, cursing, raking up the past letter. And you are not allowed to write such a letter at Retrouvaille. But you cannot tell him, "Oh, your letter breaks the rules." That's why it's so helpful. They tell him. They teach both of you. They set the rules of discussion, not argument. And guess what? Without argument, with understanding, you move forward. With conversation like this you dwell in the same spot and stay miserable forever.
Can it change? Absolutely. I've seen the change. I've lived it. But you have to get him to walk through the doors. So for now, go dark. No communication. He whipped your a$$. There's no reason to go back for more recrimination and accusations. If, and when, he softens (usually that comes, ironically, when he hardens, lol!) You can bring up that there is no point in the two of you talking to each other unaided. You only get into unproductive arguments. If he wants to try to fix this, then you need to sign up for a Retrouvaille weekend. And give him the dates.
The price is cheap. Though a better marriage is worth whatever someone would charge. But this is a Church-sponsored program that uses all volunteers. All you are asked to pay for is the cost of housing and food for the weekend. And that is just a request. They ask for a donation of what you can afford. Because this is their mission, to save marriages. And they do it because they care and want to help people. They are open to people of all religions, and don't preach religion. They teach marriage communication skills. Once you know how to talk to each other without getting into arguments, you'd be surprised what other problems you can solve together. Go to the website, http://www.helpourmarriage.com. Print the stuff on the stages of marriage. Find the best weekend for you. And wait. Wait for him to calm down.
