Onward and upward

[mishka422]

Powerful letter Michelle. Thank you for linking it here. I went back and read the earlier posts leading up to it too and I see where you were coming from.

Still looking for something fun to do tonight but I think I'm going to be on my own.

Do you guys ever feel like all of your friends are tired of hearing from you even when you've been making a supreme effort to NOT bring up your sitch? I don't talk about it unless they ask me a question about it. It just seems like they have all pulled away from me, even my family.

My cousin, who is more like my sister than a cousin, has been going through an extreme amount of stress over the last 1.5 years both financially and health issues. I have been trying to find ways I can help her with her everyday stuff so she can have some down time. When I ask her what I can do to help her she always tells me that she doesn't have anything she needs help with. I know that isn't true but she won't let anyone help her. It's like she can't let go of even the simple things so she can deal with the more pressing issues. Yesterday, I asked again if she needed help. Her oldest son is getting married in July and I knew they were addressing and mailing all the wedding invites last night and this morning to hit the mail today. There are over 300 of them so it's going to take a while to address. I offered to come help with that, she said they had it covered. I offered to come help with anything else she might need done and she said she would call me later if she thought of anything. She never called.

What is the deal? I'm just making myself available to her. I know she's stressed. I guess it just hurts me because I need to feel that I'm useful to someone. Maybe that's it. She's not blowing me off but I feel blown off because I feel useless.

Hmmmm....I'll have to think on that.

Meanwhile, have to find something to do tonight. None of my friends want to do anything. Of course, they're all married so they're spending the evening with their H's and the women I know from my Divorce Care group have younger kids that they can't leave for the evening and no one can afford a babysitter.

My house is a total mess and extremely tiny, otherwise I'd invite them all over with their kids for movies and popcorn.

Anyone comes up with a fun idea for a cheap evening out alone, let me know!