Bill, I still hate that feeling. And I don't know about you but there is still a big part of me that doesn't feel right to completely close the door on the M either. I know I am divorced already but according to my church, I am still married in the church's eyes. So I don't know if that hurt is a testament to our character of standing for our commitment or if we are just messed up people who can't move on. Either way, I think its better than just being able to move on without feeling bad about it. Dare I say, "we're better than that"?
Hey guys...hope everything is going well with ya.
In a response to what you said, germ, I felt the same way with the thinking that in essence my STBXW and I will always be M in God's eyes....let me say this...
The Bible does have provisions like that, but also says that while God hates divorce, if He sees that you stood for your M only for her not to come back, God will grant you a "pardon" in your M. He knows what happened, and won't let us be unhappy...but he will help us see what went wrong and show us we can move on without penalty from Him. My sitch is simple...John said in the Bible God grants divorce in the case of fornification...enuff said for me.
I only say that based on my sitch, and I say that because I prayed a long time for my M to be restored, for her to wake up...yada yada yada. She wants no part, hell, she is already talking M with the OM, and its only been 4 months, and we wont be D until July!
You might not be ready to completely close the door, thats fine. I had to go through all my emotions before I could be rational let alone move on. Took me almost 18 months...now I am finally dating a woman who was down the same road as me, and we understand a little more what it takes...so we will see.
Bill, good to see you are doing well. Yes, I still get the twinges too. They are few and far between but still there. That woman still gets to me sometimes and probably always will, but when I remember what she did and how easily I thought she threw away a lifelong commitment when she knows I bacame the man I should have been, I feel better knowing I could have done nothing more and someone else will reap the benefits.
Sorry if I havent been on, life has been good albeit the little ups and downs. I will try to stick around if anyone needs any help, I will do my best..
