Don't beat yourself up too much. We all have made mistakes, it only human.
But I totally agree with the others, you have to move forward and do things for you. You are still way too focused on her, focus on YOU.. do things that make YOU happy. You deserve that at least.
You can drive yourself nuts thinking about the future with her, so don't. Some things we just don't have control over. She is all over the place with her emotions, you need to distance yourself from her NOW...
Hang in there...
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
