Another side of the camp...depending on your H's emotional state...depression, MLC, health issues...sometimes to begin the piecing work you do walk on eggshells until things are better ground between you...
I know my H came home a bit too soon...but I had to deal with that decision...at one point I was ready for him to leave again it was so hard...but we made it...he was emotional mess when he returned...he wasn't ready to talk about everything...he found it hard to trust me with the truth and I would find out he lied to me about things...stupid stuff...instead of getting upset and making a big issue of it I would just tell him that he won't know my reactions until he could trust me...he was scared too...he didn't want to hurt his family again...but he had felt hurt too...he still felt a lot of why he left was me...but he also felt that leaving wasn't the answer...eventually, after he got help for his depression, drinking, and started taking care of his spiritual side and physical being...we started connecting better...the eggshells were able to swept away and I was able to express myself more (in my new and improved controled way) and he was able to be honest with me...we still have struggles but I honestly believe they are more of the "normal married people" struggles...
What I found taking him back was a new man...one that I recognized...but also one that had changed for the better too...he had grown in many ways...he understood himself better and this eventually allowed him to understand me better...he actually started helping with things around the house that before he never (and I mean NEVER) helped with...dishes...volunteering to do MY laundry...helping with the house work voluntarily!
It is scary but I think it is also the only way to know for sure...I also think you have to decide if your H is one that you need to keep the eggshells with just a little while longer...
