H is having affair after all - part 3

[Jen_Jam]

Jen - what did you mean when you said he was 'full on in Alien mode?'

This started in the DR book. In a M crisis, it can feel like your other healf has been abducted and replaced by an alien. Their behaviour and the things they say are often so far removed from the person they have usually been.

It helped me to imagine my H had been replaced by an alien, that his hurtful words and actions weren't the REAL him but those of the alien who had taken over his body. It helped me to not hate him. I actually told him about this a few months ago and he liked the analogy, it meant that I understood the REAL him wasn't the one telling me he didn't care about my feelings and the one who was saying we shouldn't be married.

Aliens can say some mean and hurtful things and at times some downright crazy stuff! There is a thread in the Just for Fun forum in which people have listed out some of the things they have heard from their WAS's. I think it's a good thread as it shows 1. you are not alone in this and 2. it really exposes in a detached way how daft some of these things they say are, which in turn helps the LBS to deal with it and not take it personally.

So - it's really hard to be even just friends with an alien. They can take everything you say and twist it round and round .... sigh, it's really draining, i know. But it's not impossible! What are your H's good points?