Well, I'm "this close" to just chucking it in! I think the trick is that I've detached. In fact, at times I think I've detached too much! Also, there is the feeling of responsibility for the kids, which is huge. And the fact that while it wouldn't be nearly as hard on us as it would be on some folk, it would be a financial disaster for all of us.
Some things that's helped me, compared to a lot of people: 1. W has always been a good mom. Except for the relatively rare occasions where she lets her anger at me flow over to the kids. This has happened more often recently, which is making me consider whether the kids we be better off if we did separate. 2. Unless I am really mistaken, and W is really clever, there is absolutely no sign of an OP. If there was an OP, and things had gone on this long, it would be really hard to continue, I think.
In the past few months I've finally realized that I can't make her happy. It isn't my responsibility, and it is impossible. So, now I am really focusing on me, for the first time in years. Which is good, but at some point I think it is going to lead me to conclude that this is a stupid way to live. So, it's a two sided coin, I guess!
If you've got a voice saying "be still", go with it! When you feel like doing something, jump on here and post! I'm still trying to think of what you could do tomorrow to keep yourself busy....we'll come up with something!
