Sorry it took me so long to respond, had to get some work stuff out of the way.
Anyway I total agree with everything you have said for my own sitch as well. It all applies to me too.
The strongest thing I have found is being back in church and putting my relationship with God first and seeing my relationship with him grow everyday. It is making me a better person and I have realized how bad I was. My W wife says that she has noticed a positive change in me and that I seem a lot happier than I used to be, and SHE IS RIGHT!
I have finally come to the point that I can see the person (a$$) that she was talking about that I thought I understood what she was saying at the time, come to find out my mind was in a deep fog and I didn't know it no matter what she said. I told her that I see that person now and that I feel like there is a line in the sand where I was one person and finally crossed over into this new person that I am and continually work on. When I explained to her I think she understood that I finally understood what she was talking about. Also it makes me feel so stupid looking back why I didn't get it, but if you don't know you just don't know until something drastic finally happens that forces you to finally search for the ansewers to what happened here, what went wrong. I feel like I am finding myself. She has also said that she has some work to do on herself, that she doesn't know who she is and that she needs to find herself. Since we've been apart I can tell that she has made good progress. I have uplifted her, commended her, and supported her in many ways in which she responded well. I do still get those up and down days from her, but I think thats just part of the process as slow and painfull as it is, it sucks. However she has been in pain longer than me, but be going through it now lets me see how painful it is, but at the same time this pain helps has a great reminder of the same mistakes to not make again because we both come out loser.
One thing I have found helpful is going to the rejoiceministries website click on the Q&A tab and read all the Q&A. The ansewers that have scripture I write the BOOK & VERSES on a 3x5 and then go back and read what the bible says. Trust me there is a lot that applies to marriage, divorce, infidelity, adultery, life in general that will give you a lot of ansewers plus it is uplifting.
I have learned that in the past I didn't realize just how much I took her for granted. Now I want to support her, love her like in the way that I should have been doing, and most importantly HONER her. Study HONER in the bible, I think a lot of people don't do this.
I was scared when she left that she wasn't coming back, but since turning over to God I calmed down. It says in the bible that whatever you pray that your prays will not go un-ansewered, but also they may get ansewered in a different manner than what you might think, or want, but they will be ansewered. So I pray a lot. She did tell me a couple weeks ago that she has been praying a lot which is good, but she isn't going back to church just yet, hopefuly soon.
