I remembered something H said that I found interesting:
He said that the "bomb" (ILYBNILWY) was not planned at all. He had never intended to leave that day. He said it was a knee-jerk reaction to a bad family situation that was going on at the time. I needed his support, he didn't give it, and I pushed his buttons. His reaction was to run away to the "OW" who offered a sympathetic ear and an easy escape route.
She filed for divorce from her H the next day and moved in with my H (she didn't want to give him time to come to his senses,lol!) He then found (I think to his horror) he couldn't get the lid back on Pandora's box.
He said it like was a vortex that kept sucking him back in. Problems kept compounding and he felt overwhelmed by the damage he was creating. He gave up, started drinking, and his life slid into the gutter.
Anyway, I found this to be an interesting glimpse into the MLC mind.
Val
Wow, Val...that really helps me out! I'm sorry to just jump in here, but your story is like mine...I've mentioned this possibile internal struggle to my H, in the past,...of course he didn't acknowledge. I don't remember if he denied there was anything 'wrong'....or just did the usual...and said nothing.
I have yet to hear real remorse. My H only remarks, 'of course, I have remorse'....as if it is a requirement, not a feeling.
Good to hear your story. And thanks for the look inside the MLC space in the mind.
Sophie
~~ Me-50 H-38 Married 15 years 8/7/08 D8 S10 S13 H affair 11/04-7/04 maybe longer H moved out 4/06
7/30/08- present: Reconnecting w/kids,friendly 10/30/08 H signed D papers 11/10/08 D papers filed 11/13/08 D papers served at home
