ms ladybug SQUISHED!

[Dom R]

I think the things he needs to hear from you, as soon as possible, are, in this order:

#1: You are sorry for what you said

#2: How much your marriage, and family, mean to you

#3: Things that you already know you plan to change about yourself

#4: A promise that you will try out any suggestions that an MC suggests to you.

If you want him to be the most believing of you, then I suggest that you do #3 and #4, BOTH verbally in person, and then ALSO in writing. But in person first, and then hand him the paper version.
Yes, this is waaay more difficult than just "writing him an email".
Which is why you should do it this way. He will recognize that you took the extra effort to do it this way.

I think that there's also something to be said in showing him your puffy eyes, rather than hiding them.
Just dont expect too much from it... being male, he might not even be able to tell the difference :-/

As for "when"....

maybe you could get a sitter, and turn up on his doorstep tonight.