As Kerry pointed out, I'm pretty sure my W has a drinking problem and I'm beginning to think she has borderline personality issues. I've become convinced through all of this that she's a narcissist, which doesn't help matters at all. Anyway, the fact that she has a lot of issues of her own that she refuses to face is the reason why I'm fairly pessimistic about our M ever working out. For us to survive and reconcile, W would have to do some SERIOUS soul-searching and based on her history (as well as her present), I'm not sure she'll ever be able to find fault w/ herself. If she does, then it will be the miracle bizarre is talking about.
Right now, I'm going to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. As far as having D call her when we were w/ another woman and her son, I too would have preferred for D not to mention it, but I have D call W every evening so they can talk. As soon as D told W what we were doing, I was 100% fine w/ it b/c there was nothing going on.
As for fanning her flames, it really doesn't matter what I do as she gets pissed at me for everything. I think I mentioned somewhere in this thread that she was incredibly ticked off at me b/c I didn't tell her thank you for being supportive of our D being in my neice's wedding next summer. I really can't win w/ her right now. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
However, I do like your suggestion to go to AlAnon meetings once I get things smoothed out a bit here. I think they will help me quite a bit.
