Is that running away, like what he did to me? Probably part of it.
It's a tough call - "they" always say not to make big life changing decisions in the year or so after a D, because you're not thinking as clearly.
But given your specific circumstances, I actually think moving would be a very healthy fresh start for you. Being away from CW and from H's parents just seems like a VERY good idea.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
No...Sarah. In the greater Danbury area. Seems to be a common expression, though.
Moving....I don't know. I am weighing the pros and cons. The market just stinks so much now, and I don't know how far away I would actually be able to go that would make a difference. I really love my job and the district I teach in. But if I stay within commuting distance, stbx and CW will still be in my life more than I would like. But not across the street... I would also have to make all of those repairs, and go through the COs and permit process (thousands of $$). So many other considerations, too. Just sitting with those thoughts right now.
MUCH less pissed at the IC. I think she did (at least part) of what I had asked, and that was damage control for the desperation. Now it is up to me to move forward from the whole thing. It did really drive home how done he is. At one point, I said that he hadn't tried everything to save it while I had, and he agreed, but was going forward, anyway.
Meanwhile, having another great day with the kids. We have 10 days left of school. Getting work done, graded, handed back. Last of the displays are up. When I get home, have to shop and pack for camping. The NE has been having a very nice, temperate spring. But this weekend is going to be 92!!! No chance to acclimate. Think I'll get some water guns from the dollar store, too. Just keep your fingers crossed for me that it doesn't rain ;0)
it's a hear wave, it's going to be 98-99 here tomorrow, yuck! I had outdoor plans but no more, bleah, I'll take kids to see Kunfu Panda, and after the sun goes down a bit off to the park and for a slurpee. Have fun camping!! hope you have an air mattress, it sure made a difference 2wks ago, phew, I slept so much better than last time.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
But if I stay within commuting distance, stbx and CW will still be in my life more than I would like. But not across the street...
This alone would be enough to make me move, even if it was only a few miles away. I know there are other factors, though.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I hear you though, my house would need LOTS of improvement to even think of selling it. BUT, if the right chance comes up, go for it, lots of home are on sale 'as is'.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I just realized how open my life is right now. I have never in my life gotten to make a huge decision about anything completely on my own--no compromises, no discussion, no concessions. If I want to move, there is no one to answer to. Scary and free at the same time.
My friend who I get to visit often moves every year or two. She hates it, but does it when she gets sick of the landlord, or she wants to be closer to work, etc. We often tease her about how often we have had to cross off something in our address book! But I never really thought about it.
This was never my dream house. It is a good house, don't get me wrong. But you can hear the highway from here. It is a standard ranch, when I always loved romantic Victorians with the wrap-around porch. Might be nice to be able to walk into town. The kids are older and need the yard less...
what would I do about the in-laws? They really are a big support system right now, not only for me emotionally (although I am pulling back on that hard to something more appropriate), but with childcare, too.
I would have to learn what to do about the CO's and permits. And get a contractor in to finish all the half-done work. Lay out who knows what and hope that I can make it back
What's the rental market like in your area? Could you rent it out, for now, and be able to cover the mortgage? Then rent somewhere else?
That would give you the chance to try out something new, without the complete purchase/sale commmitment right up front. And then maybe you could find out - do you need/want/miss the yard? Do you like being so close to town? Do you want something more rural, maybe?
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
I reflected on the meeting Wed again for a little bit today (without any drama). Although I was very affected during the meeting, I feel so disconnected to him, now. He says he cares for me, but isn't the one who can help me. More like, isn't the one who WANTS to help, me or salvaging the family/marriage.
I'm getting ok with that. I would have such high expectations, and I see that he simply can't meet them.
So, onward. Finishing up packing, getting my kiddos home, and a good night sleep before camping out in the oven (94!! is the new forecast, but at least the rain is going to hold off).
