hon, that's your solution right there. He is the source of every thing and He has your future in his hands, perhaps right now is not the time for you to have someone.
I feel so good about my life now, that I pray I stay alone rather than with a shmuck whom I married because I dont' want to be alone or because he barely meets my qualifications or with someone who might be a jerk to my kids. I want to feel it in my bones if the right man for me comes along, otherwise, I'll just go on on my merry way.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I figured it out. Though I want to create a life with someone, I don't want just anyone.
True Love is the ultimate goal. What I've realized is that what I want is so huge and I've been treating it like it's something I'm entitled to or deserve or can work towards.
Actually it's something so amazing, a true blessing that only a few are bestowed with and of those, only a few who recognize it's worth and treat it accordingly.
That said, I need to let it go.
So, letting go having a partner in my life, what problems does this create in my life? Well, loneliness, especially at night.
So, I need to find something to fill my time at that part of the day. Something fun or something involving people.
Some ideas I've come up with are: Taking a class Watching movies Reading books, even perhaps the Bible.
I'm going to prepare myself with a scheduled something to do at the end of each day from now on.
I'm going to try to meet all my needs and create a more fulfilling life without a partner.
Thanks for all of your advice. I tend to get into self-pity mode when I have negative feelings.
only a few who recognize it's worth and treat it accordingly.
that is so true, and so sad too, I want to wallop my sis when she mistreats my sweet BIL.
You seem to have so many fun things on your plate hon --I also volunteer and love it! it takes the focus off me. I remember the first day I volunteered was the very first afternoon that I didnt' think of stbx/D-crap for 4hrs in a row.
A while ago I ached to have someone because I just so wanted to give my love to someone, have someone whom I can show how much I can give, that yearning hurt. Let me recommend some great books babes (hey! join a reading club, that you'd just *have* to read )
Become a better you - Joel Osteen (subscribe to his daily emails, they are the best!)
Battlefield of the mind - Joyce Meyer
Healed without scars - : David G. Evans (I'm reading this right now, it is awesome so far!)
Steps to Christ - Ellen G. White
And the self-pity mode will come and go hon, it's ok to feel sad sometimes, just know you are not defeated. I'm on a "high" right now, I know that at some point my rock bottom phase will come, during those times I make sure I call one of my gf and whine a bit even cry for a while and I feel much better afterwards.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I like the direction of your recent posts. cat offers you some valuable thoughts and recommendations.
Quote:
Reading books, even perhaps the Bible.
Not a bad choice either. The Psalms offer lots of choices to draw upon. Joy, crying out when we don't get why we seem to have been abandoned, confidence in God's love etc.
loneliness: Some real close, genuine friends (both real and imagined) help tons. I do many things with the single guys of my church and some joint things with some of the ladies of the church. I have a few guys I can really count on when I need prayer. (Needed them today and was needed by a friend as well).
Our lives eventually become full as many around here can testify. However, we do have to get through the pain, the bitterness and other assorted yucky feelings. It is normal and just part of what we have to deal with.
Bless you, you are among friends (the imaginary ones ).
p.s. Here are some verses on Comfort, hope you find something that touches you in just the right way.
Committed2Him- "C2H" All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
I used to tire myself out silly before bedtime so the neg. thoughts wouldnt' engulf me, I'd either work out or stay up late on the internet/watching tv (ok, so the latter aren't that healthy) Bottom line, I was able to go straight to sleep and for long stretches of time without waking up.
I have some great yoga/pilates dvds, I'd do 30 min of either one after my kids went to bed, it felt good (and I'm not looking too bad either )
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Thank you, Committed. Those verses are comforting.
It's just so amazing to me how these people can do these horrific things with seemingly no regrets or remorse and go on living happy and succesful lives.
But I'm working on what I can control, my own life.
It's just so amazing to me how these people can do these horrific things with seemingly no regrets or remorse and go on living happy and succesful lives.
But I'm working on what I can control, my own life.
whitelight,
Please do not believe the illusion. Yes, I do think most of the spouses who leave "appear" to have a great life for a season. You must remember most of these people are SO full of pride. They would NEVER dare tell their friends or family how they REALLY are doing. Most would rather jump off a cliff than admit they made a mistake or are unhappy. I would not count on anyone seeing the negative impact for years if ever. They will want to keep up the charade of happiness as long as possible.
Take Care,
NMD
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
The old boyfriend (lasted about 4.5 months) We broke up a month ago and haven't talked since. He called tonight at 10:30pm and didn't leave a message. I was out having a great time and missed it.
If he doesn't leave a message, I'm really not obligated to call him back am I? It wasn't a terrible break up, but I'm doing well moving forward and have no idea why he's calling.
I guess if it's important he'll call again.
It's interesting what you guys say about the stbx not actually being happy....anyway I'm glad I've had such a pact day that I can't bother to think about it anymore. I'm tired and going to bed. Yay! This is how I like my day to end.
)