Hope4us struggle, part 4

[Hope4us]

But if she WANTS to pull me into an R talk, it would be the perfect time for me to see where we stand. I mean, it would give me the perfect opportunity to say to her I'm not going to be just roommates the next two years and if that's what she wants, leave now. If she really wants to work on this, then lets do what we BOTH want/need to fix it.

[Hope4us]

Thanks Kat. I agree completely that her talking to Deb is a very good sign. Might not be much that comes from it, but just talking to a FRIEND of our marriage and not the enabler twit has to help.

I do keep my frustrations in check. That's why I have YOU GUYS Vent here so I don't explode at home!

[kat727]

Vent, vent, vent! Happy to be of help. Are you trying to do anything with her tonight?

kat

[james85395]

Question for ya. How do you know when your W is becoming more civil and engaging you because she is starting to come back to the R, or because she has emotionally detatched from it and doesn't care. I feel my W is the later. She is fine with touching, kissing and even occasional sex (not ML), but because they don't mean anything to her anymore. So she says. Any words of wisdom or at least some of wit.

[lost_in_space]

H4U

Between you and H4H, I can take my sitch and trade it almost identically at times. My WW is also going to talk to our friends as opposed to enabler "twits" (I like that!). WW thinks the friend she is going to talk to has a fantastic marriage (they are a retired couple, so years of experience) and is looking for tips (she says) so she can stay. Hopefully some sanity comes home to roost for your WW as well. How could they ever want to get rid of us anyway!

Here's raising a brew to a good sign (but just a sip for now, ok!).

[Hope4us]

I don't think tonight Kat. Probably mow the yard as it's been raining most of the week and the grass is pretty long. Probably will be pool discussion come up. Need to get that stuff done so the rest of the weekend is free to do fun stuff, with or without her.

I saw your plans for the virtual movie tonight. That sounds good. I might just find something DS16 wants to watch after the yard work is done and veg out.

[Hope4us]

Question for ya. How do you know when your W is becoming more civil and engaging you because she is starting to come back to the R, or because she has emotionally detatched from it and doesn't care. I feel my W is the later. She is fine with touching, kissing and even occasional sex (not ML), but because they don't mean anything to her anymore. So she says. Any words of wisdom or at least some of wit.

That's probably the $64,0000 question. I guess it's consistent actions over time, not words. Words mean nothing. I haven't read your sitch so I don't feel comfortable advising anything, but in a nut shell, do you ever really know what a WAS is thinking? Until they are on their knees crying and begging for forgiveness or make other concrete statements that are backed up by actions, I don't think you can ever know for sure.

And I'd kill for some touching/kissing/sex. Haven't really had any of that since mid-August last year.

[kat727]

My Mom says "Keeping Mum" is funny, especially if you like British Humor. Not a chick flick at all. You are welcome to watch. 8:00 your time.

kat

[Hope4us]

H4U

Between you and H4H, I can take my sitch and trade it almost identically at times. My WW is also going to talk to our friends as opposed to enabler "twits" (I like that!). WW thinks the friend she is going to talk to has a fantastic marriage (they are a retired couple, so years of experience) and is looking for tips (she says) so she can stay. Hopefully some sanity comes home to roost for your WW as well. How could they ever want to get rid of us anyway!

Here's raising a brew to a good sign (but just a sip for now, ok!).

I KNOW she'd be a fool to get rid of me. And I hope that show through to her. I mean, does she really think OM will change her bed pan and wipe her a** like I will when she's old or sick and can't do it anymore?

[Hope4us]

My Mom says "Keeping Mum" is funny, especially if you like British Humor. Not a chick flick at all. You are welcome to watch. 8:00 your time.

kat

I LOVE British humor although WW doesn't appreciate it. I remember watching A Fish Called Wanda and laughing hysterically throughout while WW fell asleep 10 minutes in and kept getting mad because I'd wake her up laughing so loud. I've not heard of Keeping Mum before. And we don't have a video store within 20 miles of us so I'll have to keep an eye out for it on the zillion movie channels we get with the satelite.