Hope4us struggle, part 4

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Man, that's weird, I KNOW I added the following comment:

"Yeah, there's just something about a woman sitting at a bar, smoking a cigarette, and drinking brown liquor."

[Hope4us]

I saw it was in the middle of all the quotes after I replied. It's there. But I agree. Well, maybe not with my WW sitting alone in a bar cause we KNOW that wouldn't be good for me!

And yes Kat, I'm going out with or without her. I've been doing this for quite a while. It gives me a needed break and I think it makes her miss me/realize I have a life.

I just don't understand why she won't do something like this with me. Unless it's like I said, she can't bring herself to go with me because she know's she'd have fun and if that's the case, the affair would be a waste and she's not ready to admit that to herself yet.

But it's coming.....

[hopeful4her]

Probably not worth reading too much into it.

When WW and I first started dating, I started smoking again because she smoked. After we married, I stopped for many years. I restarted when we started having problems, just so I had one more thing in common with her. I stopped recently as one of my 180's.

I do miss hanging outside and smoking with her. I don't know WHY I find it sexy. I do love a good cigar, though. WW smoked one with me once. Hot!

[Hope4us]

Well, Last night was just kind of there. I got home and WW was fairly talkative, but not like she's been lately. I asked her if she decided to go and she said no so I went out without her.

Sat at my normal hangout playing online trivia with my new found best friends . Came home and WW was pretty quiet and I went to bed. That's about the extent of the night.

When I went to bed I laid there thinking that she's probably still in contact with OM when she's at work. She's been on vacation for a week now and the first part of it she was really in good moods, engaging, etc but the last couple days she's more quiet etc. I began to think that she's starting to WD from him again.

Ok, I know I need to quit the stinkin thinkin. Things have been progressing and just because she's been more quiet the last couple days doesn't mean she's in contact. Heck, maybe it means she's thinking about US. Maybe it means she's starting to figure this out since she's had a whole week of being home with plenty of time to have some serious conversations with herself.

Who knows? This is the hard part about limbo land. Once you're pretty sure the affair is over but the wayward hasn't fully committed to the marriage you over analyze everything. I just need to convince myself to not read too much into her being a little more quiet and keep up my GAL and PMA which will do more than anything to win her back even if she's in contact with the POS.

Should be a fun weekend. I'm going to suggest going somewhere tomorrow to watch the Belmont Stakes. The last time there was a chance for a Triple Crown winner WW and I went to a sports bar and had a great afternoon watching the pre-race and then the actual race. Saturday morning DS16 finishes his drivers ed. Sunday is my friend Deb's daughter's grad party and while WW hasn't said whether she's going or not, I'm going to go and have a good time.

Talk to you all soon.

[Hope4us]

Ok, now WW is really scaring me. She's been texting me like crazy today. Wants to buy us a pool. Wants to know if my friend Deb is working today because she wants to call her. Talking about the high price of gas (stinking oil companies We work for one....).

Why would she talk about buying a pool if she's not planning on being around......?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

H4U,

How much $$$ are we talking about? Is this an IN-ground pool?

I think you should simply say "Considering everything that's been going on recently, I don't think now is a good time to be making any major purchases, do you?"

Puppy

[lost_in_space]

H4U

I hear you. All the talk of future plans when they are not sure what is going on. Tread carefully my friend. Don't read too much into it, but go with the moment. Hell, we bought a vacation property 3 weeks after I found out about PA - still not sure what possessed us to do that!

Tread carefully...

[Hope4us]

I agree completely. In fact, when she started sending the TM's talking about it I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to say "so just where do we stand cause if you're planning on us just being roommates, I'm not agreeing to buy a pool". Might be a good way to have a R talk without getting into an R talk, KWIM?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Might be a good way to have a R talk without getting into an R talk, KWIM?

Or maybe that's exactly what she's trying to drag you into. Personally, I'd just say "no" to the pool, and let her come to ME if she's ready to talk R. After all, the ball's been squarely in her court now for weeks and WEEKS.

Puppy

[kat727]

I think it is good that she wants to jump start her realtionship with her friend, definetly a good sign. Keep doing what you are doing because it sounds like it is working. Try to keep your frustration in check. Like Michelle says this is normal for you because you have been keeping your emotions on the back burner for so long.

Have a great day,

kat