No one is saying you coddle her. I'm saying you are meeting some of her emotional needs with your friendship, while she gets some of her OTHER emotional and physical needs met by her boyfriend.
As long as she can eat from both of the cakes, she is well-fed and doesn't have to make any tough decisions.
I understand you love her. I understand she's a friend; perhaps even your BEST friend. My wife is, too. But until you learn to detach and treat her like a business acquaintance, and pull WAAAYY back from her emotionally, she will continue to keep you in emotional limbo.
For me, with all of the intel I had, that was fairly easy -- MOST days. For you, you may have to just FAKE it if you still feel that close to her. I'm sorry, I know it sucks. But it's the only thing that'll be effective EITHER for your own sanity and self-preservation OR for re-attracting your wife.
