Expect that kind of stuff. Expect the worst and work on letting it go.
You are too worthwhile, you are valuable, you have good qualities and you deserve to be with someone who appreciates that. If she can't appreciate you and love you, then it's her loss. We can't force people to love us and choose us. I know it's hard not to take that personal and feel like a loser. But the real loser is the person who can't appreciate what they have. Hopefully she'll wake up, but if she doesn't you can know you did your best and your life will still be good. Cry a little, then go out and do something for YOU.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
OHHH MY GOOOOD!! I screwed up big time - I screwed everything - I cannot believe I did that!!! I am so upset with myself! It is that thing that she didn't send the divorce papers! I was also feeling so bad because of the call. I don't know.... I went to W and asked her to stop the relation with OM - NOW - and start working on our marriege - she said HELL NO - I got upset - I said SHE HAS TO - that she is never going to be happy with OM - she said "Says who?" I did everything wrong - I felt so desperate - she said she is going to send the papers today - and she will - I asked her if she loves OM and she said she is not going to answer that. We fought an hour and half! - I begged her to reconsider - I told her that she is in a fantasy world - Oh my.... I did EVERYTHING WRONG!!! - I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT!!! It is like I got DR book and did EXACTLY the opposite. That's it - I am dust - I am MAD at myself - Exactly now - when there was this tiny little opening, I got so exited and I ruined it - WHY I COULD NOT BE PATIENT!!! I hate myself right now.
It that after the call I told her about it and I thought she was going to freak out of being exposed - instead she said - I am sorry for that - you can tell him we are divorcing - It blow me away - she REALLY doesn't care.
Thank you H4H I do feel very lonely right now, like I didn't in weeks. Today I miss my W terribly, I miss all the things we liked together, all the moments we shared - also the bad ones. I miss my unite family - I remember when my children were born - the feeling of bonding that I had with my W in that particular moment, being with her during the contractions.... and everything... I don't know.... the thought that we were going to fight together for these kids! I didn't want this D to happen. Only yesterday I was thinking that to get her back she should have to show A LOT of remorse - today during the fight she showed NONE and I would have taken her back in a blink. I know this is no good, I am not showing the character that I should have to even THINK to have her back, and this makes me even more desperate and lonely. Today I feel terrible. I have been crying - but it is not helping - I'll go out and pick up my S and try to cheer up a bit for him. Didn't eat also - I'll go and pick up something to munch. Hopefully tomorrow is going to be better
Being with my son is such a joy - as soon as I saw him my mood made an 180 - We decided to go to see Kung Fu Panda - so I asked W to bring also D4 so she could come with us too. W wanted to come too - so we had a family out - after that we all went to eat pizza. It was ok - for most of the time my mood was up - but at the pizzeria the situation became a bit uncomfortable - me and W tried to have some small talk, but we didn't have much to say to each other, I tried to show some sincere enthusiasm for the things I am doing, but she wasn't very interested. I asked a bit about her job, but she was just wondering around with the eyes and just waiting for the time to pass. Tonight I saw a very different person - maybe this is her true personality - it reminded me the very first time I met her - at the time I didn't have a very good impression of her - she looked very cold and judgmental - pretty but detached. I asked her if she sent the papers - she said "let me do it on my own time"..... I said whatever, the final date doesn't change - you can send it the the week before if you want.
rop, you have to stop with the comments, IMO. If you want it done then so be it.
But that is not what you say on here. Don't ask about the stuff concerning the D. You are going to have to maintain a R with this woman. Don't put yourself down to her level, dude. Every time you do, its another nail in the coffin.
I don't think that is what you want. Who cares how she was at the pizza place. It should have been about you and the kids. She was just along for the ride. Of course it was going to be a bit uncomfortable. No sh**.
Your gonna have to decide how you want it to be. Don't let the anger in you decide your fate. Let the good man in you do that.
Not trying to go off on you, just trying to help. You let her decide your responses.
And they are not good.
Be strong.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
