ms ladybug concerned...MR bug wants to move home.

[TwinDad]

Hey Ladybug,

I don't think I have replied to you before. I was going to yesterday but you seemed like you were very down and I figured I might come off like Don but perhaps a little less sugar coated. I have a W who thinks I am the cause of all of the problems. I have accepted that I am the problem for my fair share but I also realize that I may never get her to admit what her part was in all of this. No matter how much I could justify my actions in my mind there is little chance that I will get her to see my side as clearly as I do (at least at the moment).

This always seems to bring me to one question:

Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?

There have certainly been times when being right was more important. I can tell you with out a doubt that being happy is more important to me.

It sounds like to me that you very much want your M to work in which case I imagine you would choose being happy.

I have found that when I have let go of being right and have taken responsibility for my actions (including those that my W percieves have happened) and have made changes in my self through actions that I start to notice changes in her demeanor and outlook towards me. I also notice that she starts to make changes of her own without commenting on them.

We both know our part, neither one may fully admit it, it comes down to who is going to make the first move. If you want your M to work and your H is indifferent then you have to be the one to make the move

ladybug... you have in your husband, something that most of us here would "kill to have".... an unhappy spouse, that actually TELLS YOU why he is unhappy. and even more than that, is willing to WORK TOGETHER with you, if you will just commit to doing work !

I second Doms thoughts on this. You are a very "lucky" person to be in this position. When I have asked my W to go to MC she has said you have to want to fix it and I don't want to....