For the Guy with Kids and a WW4

[hopeful4her]

Normal evening. WW called after work. I assume she just got out of work. I never know what or where the hell she is anymore. She was nearly home. Told me her window was stuck down and she was going to go back into town to get a part and then take D's to health club. We meet at home. I start to call around for parts. No one has it. Has to be ordered. While on the phone, she is letting me know to order it. She buy it. Like on her account. Lately, it seems like HER account is full of bucks.

Has me thinking. Is she getting money from OM? Don't know.

She is a little distant. I figure its because she didn't do what she wanted to do. She also wanted to go to store to get things for D's to do while they are at home. Never left.

We watch a family movie and eat dinner in front of tv. Just D's, WW and I. S14 is at a friends house. WW tells me that S14 asked nephew to borrow $10 yesterday and that I would pay him back. I knew about this. WW tells me that nephew told him no. I did not know about that. WW was pissed at nephew. Mentions something about "tough love" now. Whatever that means.

D's want to sleep in our bed. I am in living room. I find another app for rental agreement and a brochure for a local apartment complex. It was stuck inside a training brochure from her meeting earlier. Not really hiding it. I just can't see how she will afford it. Help from him? Who knows.

She tells me to go sleep with the D's. I tell her to go sleep with them. I'll stay on sofa. I later hear, "Goodnight" from her coming from the bedroom.

Goodnight.

I sleep fairly well in S14's bed. I am up early. I decide this morning to look at her phone. I see the texts from Saturday from OM. The first one I saw. The second I didn't. The second only said, "Where u at". Text from him yesterday, "What time we meeting" at about 11:15. So she met him for lunch. I also see a text a few days ago from a number I don't recognize. Not much to them. I know it is a guy. I also find out she is using another phone. I have this number now.

Who says snooping is all bad. It is definately going to help me detach from her. Snooping usually makes the snooper all flubbered and emotional and they usually start to grasp and freak out.

It's just making me realize things. My wife is done with me. She wants the other life. The life away from me. I am definately realizing this now. I know everyone is thinking, "Dude, how many times do you have to be hit in the head?"

I am just as stubborn as my wife. I kept thinking that I was in the minority here. That as bad as it seems, we were going to make it. She was just confused.

I think we ALL feel this way. We watch everyone elses sitch and think, "Poor them. I thought I had it bad. Good thing my sitch ain't as bad as theirs."

At least that was what I thought.

Will pull way back. She is not gone yet, though. I will be kind. Watch what I say. Be friendly. No catering. Live for myself and my kids. Try to hold it together for as long as I can.

I promised my kids this.

Sure is weird when some realizations finally hit you. Not saying I have lost hope. I am still "hopeful for her".

And I always will be.