I am fairly new here, but thought I would share my sitch. My W and I have been together 6 years and married for 4 of that. Anyway this April she walked out and is currently staying at one of her friends house along with this friends boyfriend.
Her primary reasons for leaving were my being to controling and overbearing, and some lack of affection in which I have fully admitted to her.
Before we started counseling we did a movie date that went pretty well overall. The fallowing week we started counseling which I thought was good in itself, however I felt like the counselor seemed somewhat one sided in her favor like everything was all my fault. Anyway the counselor had us do weekend dates. I got to pick the first date in which the activity part of the date went well, but went all to hell at dinner. The next weekend she picked the date, overall it went well. I waited to see if she would take my hand and it wasn't long and she did. I did try to lightly let go a few times just to see if she would firm up her grip and she did. The date ended with her approaching me with a hug.
About a week later she ask me if I wanted to do one more counseling and I said "Honestly I don't want to go back to her, but I have been told about another counselor that is highly recomended and very good at what he does so that is where I am going to go." I was shocked when she agreed to go since she liked the first counselor. Anyhow we went together the first time to the new counselor. She spoke first and wasn't long when she mentioned she wanted a D which I already knew about from a letter she gave me about 3 weeks earlier. She still seem pretty addiment about it, wanting to do her own thing. However she filled out the paperwork to counsel and we have since done 3 more counseling sessions by ourselves total of 4 at present with this new counselor. Twice she has told me that she likes this counselor better than the first one we had.
A couple weeks ago I helped her with some school stuff and got to spend 3 hours with her. She seemed very receptive, we did't really get into any R talks. Just keeped it general converstation and I'm just trying to be her friend. Just last week she ordered a laptop for school and ask me if I would help her set it up in which I did. Took 5 hours, things were friendly and got a hug in the end.
I have been working on myself a lot since the day she left, she says she can see some change, I can also see good change in her. I have noticed that she hasn't pushed the D issue but sometimes she is hard to read.
Now she is wantig to sell one of our vehicles and get something that is better on gas milage. I don't have a problem with that. She as asked me to go with her to work the deal which I was greatful for when she mentioned it.
I have been giving her a lot of space and time in which she noticed and said she appreciated. I normally don't call her, I wait on her which sometimes can be a week, that sucks.
Since we have been apart for 8 weeks there have been no I love you from her, I have said it maybe twice. She normally doesn't show but very little affection if any. We havn't gone on a date in about 5 weeks. She called tonight to ask about some car looking which I was game for. I ask her what she was doing Sunday, cause in the past month we talked about going to the circus, but she said she didn't know, I got the drift that was going to be a no, but she said she would think about it.
I guess at the this point with no R talks just yet, the lack of affection, and very little sign of her moving towards me I am starting to feel frustrated, however I'm trying to stay focused, work on myself, and be very patient.
Most important of all is that I have turned this over to God. I have got a lot of comfort form this.
I know I may sound like I'm rambling but I would like anyone's input or advice as to what they think of my sitch.
God bless all of you out there that are going through the same thing.
