It depends on how you handle it. I agree, Trixi, that no matter what the outcome I will be a success story. I lost myself for such a long time, and this separation has forced me to find myself again.
I have made alot of mistakes, both during the M, and during the S, but I have learned so many valuable lessons. Ultimately I would love to start over with my H, but I also know that there are areas that I need to work on, and that I cannot force him to be with me. But I do know that there is a strong bond between us, and that hopefully, some day, we will begin again.
The other thing I noticed from your profile is that, and I know this is hard to hear, it has been only a few months. I understand that in our minds and hearts, it seems like a lifetime, and the pain is agonizing. But never say never. My H did not speak to me for the first three months more than once a week. He was absolutely sure he never wanted to be with me again, and I would hear anger in his voice every time we spoke. Eventually that anger subsided, and we started talking regularly.
Now here is the clincher. Take it slow. The marriage did not break down overnight, and it will not be fixed overnight. I made the mistake of begging, pleading, clinging, and ultimately my H backed away again. He just called, and I realized that I cannot tell him how to feel. Validation is an important step for the WAS. And although DBing is not a guarantee, you will come out of this stronger than you ever thought you could be. You will find you again, the strong, independent, beautiful person within.
(((Chris))) from one Chris to another (shhhh the sn is Lola) be strong, have patience and keep the faith. When I feel really low, I recite the Serenity Prayer and reflect on what it really means!
Lola
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
