Too late for DB, thread 7

[cw68]

I'm only strong and focused when I'm interested in the subject. Stubborn, even.

I've been wondering, why do I even want my H? He's shown to be self-centered, not emotional dependable and just not any kind of a man I'd be attracted to if I met him today.

Went a little non-dark today following H's lead. He called to see how I was feeling and emailed me a few times. I backed off and when he called again, I made pleasantries and handed the phone to my D.

Then I was sad, again, and thought back to the mean and thoughtless things he said to me and one really stuck out. He once told me that he wasn't the guy for anyone to lean on, that he couldn't be the spouse that helps prop someone up, that they need to be able to take care of themselves without him. What kind of a spouse is THAT? Why do I want him back? Do I want him back?

The answer, of course, is yes. But is it just a matter of pride now? Or would I really be better off with him? I know the kids would be better off, so it's a no-brainer choice to me, yet I'm sitting here today wondering if I shouldn't instead just kick his sorry ass to the curb.