Sorry you had to do all that. I know it is painful but it sounds like you kept it together like a champ. It is so hard to read your H -- but I guess you know that already! Not deviating from mediation/D but then doing all those little things of support during the day. Must make your head spin.
I agree! You handled everything great! I agree with g about your spouse too. That sounds so strange--I kind of don't think either of you really want this divorce that much... Have you discussed with him lately if he really wants that or is it possible he thinks you want it or something? Karen
I just dread this type of meeting with my H. And I know it will be here in a few weeks. I just hope that I can be as strong and carry myself as well as you did today. My fear is that I am going to burst into tears during the meeting. I was proud of myself today that I held it together until the parking lot.
You are inspiring. You H was right--it sure is hot!
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
You are such an inspiration, I have a hard time keeping my act together just sitting in the court room. I can't believe all these people won't try to save their marriages. It blows my mind. I am here to listen if you need to talk.
Kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Odd that we are so comfortable in the same room, but I am. I could sleep in the same bed with him and be fine. I have come a long way with detachment. Long way.
The atty talked about how she charges 1/4 of the price of a regular divorce (when someone hires her individually), but sometimes she wants to charge $1000's of dollars for mediation because its actually much harder to work with both people when there is conflict.
I don't want conflict with H.
I want peace.
Getting along with H brings me peace. Getting along with him as my xH will also bring me peace.
Thinking of my future and knowing I'll be ok with or without him brings me peace.
My girls happiness brings me peace, and us getting through this with no scars is most beneficial to them.
lwb- I'm glad that it was a peaceful meeting. Not surprised that you were calm when your H was uncomfortable.
Originally Posted By: lwb
Odd that we are so comfortable in the same room, but I am. I could sleep in the same bed with him and be fine. I have come a long way with detachment. Long way.
I understand this feeling. I remember the awkward, uncomfortable feeling when we were both in the same room or bed. Now, not so much. Maybe it's more me feeling that way now though, as I still see the uncomfortable look on my H's face at times. As well he should feel that way.
Originally Posted By: lwb
I don't want conflict with H.
I want peace.
Getting along with H brings me peace. Getting along with him as my xH will also bring me peace.
Thinking of my future and knowing I'll be ok with or without him brings me peace.
My girls happiness brings me peace, and us getting through this with no scars is most beneficial to them.
I understand those feelings too. It's hard to describe them to family & friends that aren't in your spot or haven't gone through it. They feel angry for us and they feel like we should be ripping our S's apart. There are days/moments that I'd like to do that. But ultimately, I want what's best for my D4 and I want her to be happy and have as much peace as possible through this very hard time in our lives. I cried yesterday thinking about how she has no idea how soon her life will be turned completely upside down.
Take care & have a good night! Hugs to you lwb.
SueS
Last edited by SueS; 06/06/0801:15 AM.
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
