Tip toeing around the house because D6 is at summer school and D3 is still asleep.....aaaah.......quiet house. So, no housework right now, just me and the computer.
Today is the day. We only have a 1/2 hour at the atty's office (well, we could pay for longer, I suppose), wonder what will be said, what will be covered. We shall see at 4pm. Probably good I am going directly to work after, it'll get my mind off things.
Sad, really, that I don't necessarily want a D, but I don't want to live like this anymore. I think H feels the same way, but he doesn't see any other way. Too him, its too late. I see no words or actions to show otherwise, so off I go to an appt I don't really want.
Mortgage broker I spoke with has an "PhD" in divorce. He has been through two. Was very nice about it, saying that there is life after D, and that my H was committed to keeping the peace between us. More than he can say for many he has met.
Rambling thoughts this morning. Thinking of everyone on here, tough road we all are on, but at least we are traveling together. I feel this place helped me get to the place I am today.
Do you really think your H sees no other option? He seems so lost. I thought about you and your H last night. The way he's been with you lately seems far from where he's been in the past. He seems caring, loving almost. I don't know, it's odd to me that he told his friend that you and the girls are his world? Just doesn't seem right to say that if you're completely done. Just my view of things.
My prayers for you are that this meeting today or future meetings open your H's eyes. I know it would be a long road back to the healthy M you'd want. We all know that people have gone down to the 11th hour on here and turned everything around.
Again, you.....and your H are in my thoughts and prayers today. You are our lwb and we love ya!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
Hiya, lwb. Just wanted to stop by and wish you luck on your appt. this afternoon. Like gForce said, treat it like a business meeting.
And do leave your emotional options open. Meetings like this have a way of jolting waywards sometimes. Just continue the loving detachment -- the "loving" part of that could help you down the road if you ever do try to reconcile with your husband.
I hope that all went well today. Was thinking of you when I walked into my lawyer's office this morning.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
H got back from work and was very distant before the appt. We had to drive separately because I was leaving for work after that. He made sure I got through traffic and got a metered spot (kept me on the phone the entire time driving there).
He spent the drive and the wait to see the atty randomly complaining about EVERYTHING (why this office? why in clayton, during rush hour? this office is hot. why are you so tan already? lol). He was very nervous, I was calm.
Very nice mediator, she is straightforward, talked about there being no secrets, everything on the table. She will not talk to one of us without the other one there, etc. She gave us a ton of paperwork to fill out. Oh my so much paperwork.
The consultation went by quickly (bye bye $100) and I think we will be using her.
I am in an ok place. H didn't stand up in the meeting and announce that he wants to reconcile, so we are moving forward. I will push the paperwork, do the work, because I want this house (well, I want this M, but that's not in my hands), and the atty needs the financial paperwork asap.
H walked me to my car after, called me three times on the way to work, totally trying to read my mood. I was fine. I am fine. I will be fine.
Editing for 2 reasons:
1. Because I can!
2. To thank you guys for the great support. It means a lot.
Sorry you had to do all that. I know it is painful but it sounds like you kept it together like a champ. It is so hard to read your H -- but I guess you know that already! Not deviating from mediation/D but then doing all those little things of support during the day. Must make your head spin.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I will push the paperwork, do the work, because I want this house (well, I want this M, but that's not in my hands), and the atty needs the financial paperwork asap.