Need help planning a response to theoretical A

[iamlost]

Hi all in I/EA/J!

I'm a newcomer and need some advice. My H and I are separated (full sitch link in my sig) and he had a brief long-distance EA after he moved out that he now claims is over.

H is away for a month+ visiting his family, and I am concerned about another EA or PA happening. I'm not going to ask him about it, but there is a possibility that he may TELL me that there is one, because I asked him to be honest and tell me in the future (after I had to play super sleuth to find out about the EA--twice--both times he swore up and down that he was sorry/would never talk to her again/blah, blah, yada, yada).

So, my question is--if he DOES tell me about some kind of A, how should I react? I decided instead of obsessing over it, I would write down what I would say, and then be done with it.

Are there any threads here already about this? I looked and couldn't find any.

I wrote this so far, but have no idea if it's the "right" thing or not. Also please note that my husband does not feel like "a real man"*/thinks he failed me/ruined our marriage/does not want to feel the way he does but "can't help it"/his own father abandoned him family so doesn't have much experience seeing love as a choice, not a feeling, etc. (more info at my sitch):

[He drops theoretical bomb]

Me: I'm hurt, devastated actually, but not surprised. I figured something like this would happen. (Ask a couple questions to clarify--one time thing? Or is this a relationship? etc.)

I'm just sorry that you are hurting so much that you did that/are doing this. The hardest thing about this has been watching you fall. I know you are a better man than this.

(And then what, end the conversation? Say something else?)

*think this is why the long distance EA happened, it was a way for him to feel "like a man" without actually having it be a real relationship which he might fail at.