"It's all still inside for both of us.....patience...patience...patience.....never my strong point, but I am learning."
Did I mention.. You should really get some help with this. I understand that DB.com helps.. but it is so much more effective when you can sit down face to face with someone and do it. Nothing wrong with reaching out.. not reaching out would be more of the same for you.
OK...so now...I guess I am going to prove to myself just how bad I still am...the insecurity, the impatience, after saying it is not.. Not really, but a little venting nonetheless....it helps me to figure this all out....until I get the counseling which I accept will have to come.
With all the time we have spent together and all the things we have done in the last several weeks, I really have been thinking to myself...she....we...need to spend some time away from each other.
It just seems no matter the day, the time, the activity...she accepts. We have a good time and it has repeated itself all this time.
She just makes no effort to spend time away from me and you have heard me ask...wonder, should I be the one to get away a little more, even though we are having so much fun?
So...here I am thinking she should go out, do something, go out with the girls...anything, just so I can show her the "new me". Show her how I am not that insecure guy who worries where she is every minute of the day and when she is coming home, or who she is with.
...and an hour ago she texts me to say she is going out with the girls.
Bam...and the insecure, smothering guy is back in a second. No not to her, but man...what a jackass I am. I have had it so easy through all of this so far and this bothers me??
I can count the days on one hand in the last 2 months where she acted like she did not want to be with me, and this gives me an empty, sad feeling in the pit of my stomach?
The changing of my attitude towards her...treating her right, showing her how much I cherish her...that is the easy part, because I do cherish her.
Each day I need to learn a little bit more about myself. I guess I can't do that if there is nothing to bring out these things that I still need to work on. She has just been making it too easy for me.
Anyone care to stop by and slap me in the back of the head? Forrest...Bworl? Come on...I know you want to....LOL
