Real live is....part 4!

[Sugar and Spice]

Change it. As long as he has the house phone number, then that is legally enough.

[Starshyne]

Okay, let me say that I value all of your advice so much. I went ahead and changed it. That will give me a peace of mind that the OW can't contact me. But it makes me sad that H can't contact me. No more middle of the next tms. I guess I can cancel the tm feature since he was the only one I used it with.

Sara

[JeffSTL]

sorry Sara, I had the same thoughts, guilt, what did I do and I'm learning, its not me, I was open to change and willing to do what was needed. We cannot force S to do something they don't want to do.

I don't know if I could have handled S telling me they wanted to work things out and then being put into a position your H put you in

I expect to be heading to D land myself in about a year, I don't suspect W will be able to give up OM or that she will want back into a situation involving 4 kids and all the chaos that goes on with that. I'm not very hopeful.

We are all here for you (((SARA))))

We all have a long haul ahead of us good or bad it's the path we choose thats important.

M45
W41
M10 3/4 years
D9, D6, D6, S5
OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me
WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08

[Rob1231]

Sara, you did exactly what you needed to do. Bravo for changing your number - you stuck up for yourself in a way that helped you feel better, and that's so very important.

Your story isn't over, so don't assume that starting the paperwork means The End Of It All. It's one step along the way, and your H has the same option today that he had yesterday - to pull his head out of his rear and shape up. And you have the same options too - to wait and hope, or to decide enough is enough.

I sincerely hope that the tough love approach shakes him up, and he gets his act together - but in any case, you are taking back some control of your life after having him in the driver seat for way too long. Be proud of that!

Many hugs!

[Forrest Gump]

Hey Starshyne...

I just wanted to pop in and say.. What you are doing is a good thing. I know it feels awful.. and that digs at you a lot.. please stay focused on this is a change for you. And it is.. this right here.. the stuff you are doing.. is going to change your life for the better. No question about it. All you are doing is setting boundaries based on how you feel things should be. You have been clear about them.. He knows. I could recite them to you.. I am sure he understands.

Please.. Please.. don't back down until you are absolutely sure things are going to change.

I told you way back.. When is strong Sara going to step up.. I am glad she finally came around again. I hope to see more of her.

I know it does not count for much.. and maybe sounds a bit weird.. but I am proud of you. I know this is hard for you.

[girlfromipanema]

Sara, I have so much respect and admiration for you. Just keep reminding yourself that you're going to be better than OK someday in the very near future.

Lots of love.

[SueS]

Sara, I have so much respect and admiration for you. Just keep reminding yourself that you're going to be better than OK someday in the very near future.

A HUGE DITTO from me too!!! You are amazing. I wanted to get on earlier and post. I wanted to give you a virtual hug. The others are right. You didn't do anything wrong. Some people may not have the values & morals that they should have. You've fought for your M. I changed a lot of things for my H. Each time I thought....okay, now we'll be okay because I changed that, my H would give me something else that he thought was wrong. I just couldn't win. You're a good person!!

SueS

[hopeful4her]

Checking on you, Sara.

It is sad, but you did what you had to do. You are strong for doing it. Like the others said, it does not mean it is over. Now is the time to stop questioning what you did and just do for you. Get out more.

Work on making Sara happy.

And thanks to the powers that be for the edit option back!

[Starshyne]

Reading what everyone has said today as brought tears to my eyes, especially you FG!! I couldn't ask for better people to help me through this time. I wish you were all here with me and I could take you all out to eat. It has been such a sad day for me. I am now doing pitch black dark and it scares me. The reason why I married my H was because I couldn't picture my life without him in it. Now I am faced with the reality that is exactly what is happening. Although I still hope that we can remain friends after the divorce.

Wanna hear some good news? There is a guy that I have been chatting with online for the past few weeks. When I first started chatting with him, he had told me that his wife had cheated on him and they were seperated. Well tonight he has told me that they are working things out and she has moved back in. He is going to give her another chance and not divorce because he loves her. And while secretly, I was thinking of things working out down the road between me and this man (he lives here locally)...you know the notion of 2 cheated on people making things work (because this guy is so good looking!) I am honestly happy for him and his wife! At least there is happiness for some in this crazy world.

[kat727]

It makes me feel so much better too when you hear that someone is really willing to make a go of it after all the cr*p they had to deal with.

You are going to be great Sara. I wish I had a crystal ball and I could tell you what your future holds but that would be cheating!

kat