Hi Phoenix! I drove by the turn-off to your town on Monday! Thought of you, and hoped things were going better for you.
What do you get for your W on your anniversary? I would say, either a lump o' coal, or absolutely nothing (or a paper shredder???). Okay, I'm being a little lighthearted here, and I know how heavy your heart must be feeling now, but try and see that all will work out as it should, if we just leave it in God's hands (I am trying to take my own advice, but finding it difficult).
Quote:
Right now I am just working hard to have a "C" like attitude about the whole thing.
Keep doing this! Your W is the only one that can change, and you can only do your best for you.
RS lesson went okay. I think I had too much info, and next time (if there is a next time), I will keep the lesson a lot simpler.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
W got nothing from me this anniversary. Didn't want to spend money that would not be appreciated and most likely resented. So we spent a good deal of the day together with the kids and called it good.
I'm definately taking a step back and take the ride approach. Enjoy what time I have left with my complete family. Kind of put a different perspective on things. Work wise I know I will perform better when all this weight is off my shoulders. After being so involved in my kids lives, I'm not looking forward to being an "outside" Dad. Some days I really wonder how the kids are going to do with out the "calmer head in the house". I know S15 was told by a friend he should live with me.
You should have called Monday, I could have used the input. Do you think Cactus is a good anniversary present? Some way maybe W will get the point.
Cactus would be a brilliant gift. But, you were right, in that, why waste the money buying a gift that would not be appreciated. I hope your older children do choose to live with you, otherwise they may find themselves doing a lot of babysitting while mommy goes out to play. Just a thought!
I would've called, except I didn't have your number with me. Sorry. But, you know you can call me anytime.
I think you have the right attitude ... live in the moment, and don't worry about the future. Also, don't let your W get to you. Try going somewhat grey, and just focus on the kids, and treat W like an acquaintance ... polite, but distant.
Time for LRT, do ya think?????
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I'm doing okay. Over the last few days there has been social events where W and I have attended. Same crap as always, W trying to be distant but not too obvious. In one sitch I just said, "don't worry, I won't bite". How can a woman, almost 40 be so immature? Oldest two Ks are getting tired with "mommy's" self-centered behavior. Their not buying the "I need to do this so our house will be happy again". S15 said to me last night that the tension in the house is originated from W, D17 called W on a few of her self-centered behaviors on the weekend. I just stepped back and let the two of them "work it out".
Yep, I guess at this point I'm just along for the ride, but I sure wish there was something I could do. W has lost a lot of respect, both from the kids and friends. One friend in particular is of the mind, "I'll listen to (W), but I'm not doing much more than that, (W) won't listen to what I've learned from experience". I had a dream recently where W said, "Why did you let me do this"? I stood there for a minute and then said, "sorry, this one was all you". She paused, than said, "I know, what was thinking"? Some times you can't always rescue those that need help, not if they won't let you.
You've pretty much summed up my attitude. Thanks for checking in on me. LRT? That's my way of life.
It's hard to say how things are going. Probably, I would say as good as can be expected, considering the looming outcome. Am I a basket case? No, but disappointed I wasn't able to turn this thing around. Because of the laws here, once the "roller coaster" is rolling, there's no exiting the ride. I can see the kids need me more than ever, but I don't want a messy court experience for me or the kids, let alone the bill.
Perhaps the best way to say it is, I know what is going to happen, I just chose to make the best of my time till then. The rope has been dropped and I'm not looking back at it, other than occasionally. I don't think W will pick it up, too much "crow to swallow".
D17 sure did call her out. Where is my video camera when I need it. Daddy was sure proud of his little girl. Did it have any effect on W? Not much, if any. What was it Yoda said about the path to the dark side?
To many things seem to indicate that life might not be so great for the younger ones once this mess all comes through. Some days I wish they had a show where Michelle shows up on the door steps of people on here and does a marriage intervention of some sort. I would give up my Christmas bonus just to see Michelle call my W to the carpet. True knowledge, research and experience against all the muck that has been passed off as truth to W. One can only hope.
Doing some definite GAL the next two days. Just love 3 day work weeks. However it's hard to get excited about projects around the house when your on your way out. It's amazing how my life has become a twisted version of "Survivor". However, I know well in advance who's the next one off the island.
Good for you, Phoenix! Hope you have a fun weekend.
Your D17 sounds to be turning into quite a wise young woman. I hope your W wakes up one day and realises the negative impact she is having on the children (esp. the girls) at the present moment. But, at least, we know what kind of husband they will be seeking later in life, 'eh!
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
More problems with S15 today. He sure is a stubborn type, just like his M. The funny part is that he feels that after things are settled later this summer, he will be better off in the new environment. He's probably right. D17 is not wanting to move past what she knows, I hope she doesn't do something stupid, giving her a false sense of grounding.
But, you were right, in that, why waste the money buying a gift that would not be appreciated. I hope your older children do choose to live with you, otherwise they may find themselves doing a lot of babysitting while mommy goes out to play. Just a thought!
