He's "done". Period.

[7 Year Itch]

Talked to H last night about the job. Mentioned I was worried I wouldn't have the time to see if this can develop into something great like I think it could. The lady can't guarentee it could be full time by Fall etc......... to which H said. "well, we can talk about that. As long as I see progress is being made, I can probably put off filing".

So I don't know what to think. Then I told him about my conflicted feelings. Being excited for the job, and sad too because I know he'll be leaving soon if I get it. To which he said, "I think no matter what happens with this, I need to leave soon".

I'm so conflicted on separating. Part of me thinks it could be good. He could see what it's like to truly not see his girls everyday. To have to cook, clean, do his laundry etc. For him to recognize the good things about me he may miss. But part of me is scared to death that he'll leave and just be relieved and think it's great. Plus the place he is now going to stay is with a friend that got divorced (VERY NASTY ONE) a couple years ago. He's now living with his new girlfriend, and I guess stuff is great with them.

I feel like H will see them all happy, and hear all the ick of his friends divorce and just be more resolved. I just don't know.
I'm just dreading when it happens and my poor D's. I feel so horrible for them. I hate that my babies are going to be so hurt and I have no say in it.

Chris