For the Guy with Kids and a WW4

[hopeful4her]

I'm thinking of writing a letter to WW again. I feel like I want to make sure that she knows that I do love her. That I want our marriage to work out. Make sure that she knows that I have not been with any one else. That I would like to attend a Retro weekend. Not a mushy letter. Just so that she knows how I feel. Letting her know that I DO forgive. Point out that if she wants to be independent, then do it without me OR someone else. Do things with a clean slate. Letting her know that I know she didn't mean to hurt me. That I know that we really enjoy each others company.

I doubt I'll write it. Her is one letter I had written to her before:

This is us.

We met at the bottom of a huge mountain with our backpacks full of stuff. We both had climbed other mountains, but I was still a little more experienced. We looked up at the mountain at decided to climb it together. We told each other that even though it looked like it was a rough climb, we will still climb it together. We decided to tie a rope to each other, so that we wouldn’t fall. I took you by the hand and we started our journey. At the start, I was guiding you and holding your hand. Along the way, I would point out things that you hadn’t seen before. Along the way, I would try to show you things that were good for you and also point out some things that were not good for you. Sometimes you just watched me, and you learned how to do things on your own without me even pointing them out. Sometimes we came across something that I didn’t know about, but you did. You taught me something’s that I didn’t know about, because you know what they were. I was able to watch you and learn. We had stuff in our backpacks to give to each other. We helped to feed each other and gave each other water. Sometimes we just snacked.

Parts of the mountain were extremely rocky and hard to climb, but we were able to keep climbing because many times, I was able to help you through the hard parts. Sometimes I was there to pull you up by the hand and sometimes I was there to help push you up because I was behind you. Sometimes, it was you helping me up, either by pulling me up or pushing from behind. Sometimes, the climb was so difficult that we thought that we wouldn’t be able to continue. You always knew that God was there to watch us and help keep us safe. I didn’t. I thought that I could just rely on myself. It was during an especially hard part of the climb that I finally figured out that there is a God to help us along. I learned that it was his hand that was there, also pushing and pulling us up. I realized that it was heaven that we were climbing up to. He was helping us to get there.

As we climb, helping each other up through the hard parts, we can both see a path that leads off to the side. The path looks like it might be a little easier, but it is difficult to see were it leads. We keep on climbing.

Right now, you have decided that there is nothing more that you can learn from me. We keep slipping and cutting ourselves on the rocks. The climb is very difficult. Especially right now. Every time we take a step up, the ground gives way and we slide down. You are trying to let go of my hand, cut the rope and take the other path. I want to keep climbing the mountain with you, because I know that we can make it to the top, but you want to take the other path, alone. I don’t mind taking the other path. We can take a different path, and we can take it together. I don’t want to let go of your hand. I want to keep the rope intact. It’s much easier. We have not learned all there is to know about climbing. We keep learning from each other. There is so much more to learn. I want to follow you. I want you to take my hand and lead me through the different path, but you just want to yank away from me to go alone. I want to learn more about life, just like you do. At one point, you needed me to take your hand and show you life. I just want you to take my hand and show me. We are still growing and learning. I am just shy. I am not a risk taker. Lead me. Show me. You just need to take my hand and I can learn from you and learn a few new things together.

We started out as friends. We fell in love with each other and became best friends. I love you. You still love me. I need you and you need me. I have never held you back from something. You are outgoing. I am shy. We both know that friends are important in our lives. We both love our children. They are our lives. We both live our lives for them. We both have a lot of common interests. We like the same music. When we can, we both like to go out and have a good time with others. We are people watchers. We find other people fascinating. We love children. All children. We think of others, even to the point of not thinking about ourselves. We have different ways of relaxing. You like to relax by going shopping. I like to relax by just chilling out. We both love to have friends over to visit and barbeque. I don’t have an exciting job. I wish it was something new and different every day. We love our family time together. We both love God and know that Jesus is our Lord and Saviour. We both want to help others. We are both great listeners. People come to us to help themselves through their lives. They come to us for advise. We both love animals. We both feel like being a mother or a father is the greatest joy in the world. We both love to listen to live bands. We both love movies. We love action movies and romantic movies. You like doing yard work and I don’t. I like being outside looking at the stars at night. I think you do, too. We both love going to church. I love to read, and you would rather watch it on video. We both love to read the paper on Sunday. We both love and have to have our coffee, everyday. I find it hard to trust people, you put your trust in someone right away. We both have bad teeth. We both like to take a nap. You like to sleep. I like to sleep. Just not as much as you do. We both love going to the river. We both love fish. I would just rather eat them than watch them. We both like to swim. We both love the smell of coconut on our skin. We both love to watch a good boxing fight. We both love to eat out. We both love to eat pizza. I like sausage and you like pepperoni. We both love beef fajitas. I love seafood and you don’t. We both love Italian food. We both love Mexican food. We both love Chinese food. We both love Greek…ok, we both love food. I like to fish. I just can’t seem to scratch out the time to do it. We both love to snack. We both love sweets. You like chocolate chip and I like oatmeal raisin. We both love ice cream. I think we both love to read magazines. We both love to read about celebrity gossip. We both have a fascination with the obituaries and who recently died. We both believe that our other family members are important. We both love to hear (HER AUNT) tell a joke. We both think that (HER EX) is a jerk and probably always will be. We both like to play on the computer. I like doing the laundry. You hate to put away clothes. We both love to eat homemade tortillas. Your not afraid to start a project, you just have trouble finishing them. I don’t like to start a project that I won’t do a good job at but I can finish it if you start it. I love to help you in the kitchen, even though you hate me doing it. We both love iced tea. We both like to talk to people on the phone. Sometimes I would rather talk on the phone than in person. We both love to be barefoot. We both love to get in the car and drive somewhere. I love to play footsie with you when we watch a movie. I love when you put your leg over mine when you sleep. We both love to watch the news at 10:00. We both love to watch Rome. We both loved the Sopranos. We all love to watch Ugly Betty. We both love to watch Prison Break. We both love to spend money. We both love getting credit cards, when we can get approved. We both love to sing. We both love to take a hot shower, you just like scalding water. We both prefer silver over gold. We both love to get gifts. I love getting you flowers. Hopefully you love getting them. We both believe that our kids can do anything they put their mind to. We both want them to be smarter than us. Our kids are the most important thing in the world to us both. We both love to watch our kids play sports. We both love to yell and cheer them on. Your just way louder. We are both easy to please. We both get pleasure in the little things in life. We both like to dance. You are just way better at it than I am. You love to color you hair. I love to see what color it is this time when you come out of the bathroom. We both like to get a text message. You love to stick you finger in my nose. I must love you sticking your finger in my nose, because I let you do it. We both love watching our kids actually doing anything. We both think that other people are a little weird. We both love Alexia and think of her as another daughter. We both hate to hurt each other’s feelings. We both think of Mike as a goofball brother. We both want to learn the bible more. We both cried when we walked through the Stations of the Cross in San Juan. We both love to go to the beach. We both love holding hands. We both love leather jackets. We always say what the other is saying at the same time. We can finish each other’s sentences. We both love to hold babies in our arms.

I could keep on going. I think the list of the things that we hate about each other that makes us so different is a lot shorter.


I also gave her a letter once that said things I love about her. Things like:

I love how your hair smells just out of the shower.
I love to watch you paint your toes.
I love to watch you try to run.
I love to watch you brush the girls hair.
I love how we play footsie when we lay on the bed watching a movie.
I love how you sleep with your leg on top of mine.
I love how you can make fun of yourself to make others laugh.
I love when you play with my neck.
I love your squishy knees.
I love when you stick you finger in my nose.
I love to watch you read to the girls.
I love to see and hear you laugh.
I love how never finish a beer.
I love your huge heart.
I love that your family looks to you.
I love to hear you sing.
I love to hear you humming.


She said that it would have been nice to hear these things a long time ago.