I can't keep letting this get in our way of our happiness but he disrespected me and humiliate me, lied and cheated and we are financially and I am emotionally paying for his fantasy
Yes he did.
Yes you are.
Is he going out of his way to prove himself to you? Is he humble?
Get some help.
If you cannot fogive him, then you cannot do this.
A very dear friend of mine told me, everyone gets one really big F-UP in a marriage. She was the only one in the Real World who understood what I was doing with DB. Everyone gets one F-Up, Jack, this is your wife's.
Yes he lied, he cheated, he hurt you, he disrespected his marriage and you...blah blah blah. That was in the past, is he doing that right now?
If you cannot get over this, then yes he had a huge part in the problems you are going through, but right now so do you. The past is the past, is he consistent in his actions words and deeds to you today?
Piecing Sucks. Life isn't fair. If you can forgive him, then you have a shot, and if you forgive him, then all his past BS comes off of the table in later arguments. Nothing says "I lied about forgiving you," like bringing it up over and over.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
