Dance, Yes, there was feeling. I really, really wanted to hold and connect with her. One other bright piece, this is the first time I can recall her working past an initial refusal, especially of her own volition.
NTE - Was there any kissing at all, before, during or after?
If not, do you think now tonight when you see her, maybe you could get at least one gentle kiss...not the passionate kiss we were talking about before but just a "thank you for reconnecting with me" kiss?
Again, this doesn't solve everything...but it is a really good positive move, and you can think clearer when you've had sex recently....
Here's hoping for continued gains on a long road...
We actually had a very good weekend together as a family and as a couple. I paid very close attention to my attitudes and the behaviors that I have engaged in that made me feel less of a man etc. In other words, sticking to my personal 180's.
Then came Sunday night. We had agreed to take some relaxed "married time" after we put the kids to bed. As the evening progressed, we started having little spats, but I noticed my wife was making efforts to get past them. When we actually went to bed, the wife comes out of the bathroom and starts making comments about how I don't look ready to do anything or how the room isn't prepped or whatever. In my own defense, these are usually critical comments and excuses to get out of sex. Last night, they weren't, she was joking and I completely missed it!
I got really defensive and that precipitated a huge fight. Neither of us slept well etc etc. This morning, as we were trying to discuss things, she made the comment that she had really worked up her courage to enjoy the evening together as she generally has no desire for sex (her words) and this is what she gets. Oh, man. I finally get what I am asking for and I screwed it up!
Her final comment of the morning as I head out the door, "why are things always so hard in our relationship?"
Strange as it may sound...I think you are actually making GOOD progress.
I'm still not sure you actually WANT to have good progress or not, though.
Anyway, her asking you that question is a sign that she truly wants to know and doesn't understand why things are always so hard in your relationship. In other words, if she "knew" why things are so hard (ie: it is all your fault), then she wouldn't have asked the question.
I think you have an opening for a bid for counseling here, if you take it.
Also, please just apologize for last night, honestly and earnestly, and then move forward. Don't get discouraged. Don't let this progress turn into a backslide.
Thanks for the input. Things were ok last night. We snuggled etc. I will see if I can work this again into counseling. What timing, we just took another huge financial hit again yesterday, just when I thought I was making progress.
