I think she wants to be friends

[Grace_O]

Hey sleeper,

Like some of the others I was diagnosed and treated. That was 20 years ago for me.

[sleeper]

Fig, I like your style.

Thanks Grace_O.

So are your guys suggesting I should let her handle this herself?

[Grace_O]

Not to be rude, but did she not divorce you? Why does she get to have your strength and compassion only when she wants/needs it?

I get that you aren't done. I just want you to think about this and what the upsides and downsides for you could be. Once you think about it, then you are truly choosing from a good place. Also, I wanted to add that if you choose to be there it really needs to come out of compassion with no expectations. It will eat you alive if you're motivated by something else.

HUGS

[sleeper]

Thanks Grace,

My original plan was to wait her out on her mlc. At this moment I'm not even sure anymore if she is in mlc. Many have commented how unusual our sitch has been and at the same time noted many "positives" and observed that she "wasn't done" with me.

She doesn't want to let me go completely. It could be as simple as major cake eating on her part. I still do a lot for her. I love her and damnit (here's the hard part) she still loves me. she told kids on vacation I am her "best friend" (major double edged sword).

I've gotta cut her off, medical problems or not.

I have decided to tell her not to try to use my insurance.
I'm going to tell her what I will accept as far as FS (we're not far apart).
I'm going to enlighten her to the fact that "her" commercial property was bought as Sheriff's sale and she can figure out how to deal with it (I was going to take care of it ).

[fig]

way to make boundaries!!!!

[sleeper]

Thanks fig.

For the first time in my life I wish I was a dog. Marking boundaries is so much easier for them.

The past week has really been difficult for me but something good has come out of it. I finally know exactly what I must do, regardless of what the future holds.

I'm moving over to the "divorced but not done" forum. Saw one thread (only one I read) that was almost exactly like my sitch. I'm hoping some of the good people there can help me find my inner dog and teach me how to mark boundaries.

[forward]

Sleeper,
Methinks you teach English.

You can be kind but still have the boundaries.

DB C advised "Firm boundaries, friendly air."

[sleeper]

Breton,

Mary!

Master yet I shall not be whilst cupid's pricks not love for me, Master yet of deeep dung barrows whilst cupid stays his sweet sharp arrows.

I teach Social Studies but I did teach English for a couple of years.

"Firm boundaries, friendly air".........For what airline did your DBC work?

[sleeper]

I believe I recieved a veiled happy anniversary from recently xed W today.

It came in the form of, "Happy D Day" (D day was our anniversary and we often joked about it).

I simply responded, "Happy D Day to you."

[forward]

Sleeper,
I could guess first from your references and second because you spell well.

I think you should stay here for a while yet. (in this forum). You can still be D but not done. I fear I may be joining you but I am finding that I am surprisingly OK with things.