Holding Pattern

[JWS]

bit of news...

i got an email from W yesterday. she wanted to know if I still had any of the links from apartments near the law school that we had looked at. i sent her what i had. i then added a bit extra and I hope that it was not bad.

she has been stressed about making the move to law school, so i told her to try and relax because it will all work out ok. i told her that she has a lot of people including me who want her to do very well there and could help her if she wants it. I also apologized for making her feel like she walks in my shadow and that all I ever wanted was to walk side by side. Law school is her time to shine and I want to support her like she did me. I told her that I will not give up on her and that she is the most incredible person I have ever meet.

I kept it friendly with no i love you or clinginess, so i am not sure if it is a slip up or not, but i have been holding back so much i just had to tell her a bit.

Then i heard that Her and Mom had a very good tearful conversation. not sure all of the details but mom made sure she knew that she was loved and support by us. W was in a great mood for the rest of the day and even agreed to join my parents on an already planned visit to see me. we are meeting at a national park between our two cities.

That is good new but here comes the hard part. I am going to "act as if" i am a really good friend. No R or M talk or clinginess just be my self enjoy my parents company and hers. We always have fun at things like that.

I am trying to be prepared for things that may get to me. if she is rude, if she keeps getting text messages, and the big one she is not wearing her wedding ring any more. I have been thinking about that a lot. In the LRT DB talks about the importance of not saying I Love You. This makes total sense and its to painful to not hear it back anyways. I was wondering if she is not wearing hers and i wear mine is that the same as me saying I Love you a million times. I could send the wrong message weather i wear it or not so i would rather error on the message that’s says i am still here and wear it.

I am also nervous as I am sure she will be to, we have not seen each other or barley spoken for 7 weeks. I will bring our puppy to help ease things a bit, but would greatly appreciate any suggestions, I meet them tomorrow night.