Hope4us struggle, part 4

[Hope4us]

Good point Pup. I know this is one of my problems. I like things to work on my time table and HOW I want them to work and it just isn't going to happen that way.

And you're right. The last couple weeks she's not been acting wayward at all. Still pretty darn foggy, but her actions are showing me she's at least trying.....

And I think I do know that if she does get to the remorseful state, it will take her a while. It's like, because she's a GOOD person (which she has been for 23 out of the 24 years we've been together) that it will take her a long time to come back because for her to have an affair she REALLY had to convince herself our marriage was crap because if it wasn't, she wouldn't have done this. We all know better....affairs can happen in good marriages as well as bad....but because it happened in a good marriage she had to create this TERRIBLE marriage so she could feel ok about it, and it's going to take her a long time to change her thinking.

One good thing though. I talked to my friend Deb yesterday and told her that WW had thought about calling her and Deb said she would like that. So I told WW that last night. If WW calls her it will be GOOD because Deb had an affair of her own years ago and she and her husband are happier than ever now and I think WW talking to a real friend and not just the enabler GF it will help. Plus Deb's daughter's grad party is Sunday and while I haven't asked WW if she's going with me to the party yet, I bet she will. Another good thing for her to see what she'd be giving up....