Yes, your thoughts are perfectly normal. All of your defenses have been up, and you've been pretty much emotionally and intellectually "checked out" of the marriage, as a defense mechanism, hoping for the best but living as though it would be the worst. Now that she appears to be coming back to you, all of the pain, anger, and resentment come flooding back.
I did the same thing -- BUT -- my wife was remorseful, so I found it much easier. (At least she was in GENERAL -- she still had some raging fits of entitlement, as I've written before).
Buddy, I hate to say it, but you're going to need to start thinking about what you're going to do if your wife is willing to continue to come back to your marriage, but you DON'T get the tearful remorse and apologies you seem to be so desperately seeking. According to Harley, this is actually the norm, and many, many betrayed spouses are NOT prepared for it -- and to some, it is a DEALBREAKER, in fact. It would have been for me, but everyone is different.
We're taught to judge our wayward spouses by their actions, and not their words. So what to do, then, when their action speak "reconciliation," but their words are "business as usual."
That's a tough one.
I would tell you this: although sometimes the remorse NEVER comes, it does sometimes come a good six months, nine months -- even a year later. Your wife probably has not even BEGUN to allow herself to face, and process, the depth of what she's done.
