Sue, Your H may be sugar-coating his DUI a bit (or perhaps he doesn't realize all this yet). It depends on the DUI laws in your state. In NJ where my H had his accident, they are ruthless! In addition to loss of license for a time, I'm sure he'll get points on his license (could be up to 8), probably community service, classes related to alcohol abuse, etc. I'm sure it will affect his insurance. I wonder if he's considered that he may need a lawyer?
But once he jumps through all the hoops, if he ever gets caught again, he'll be in even deeper crap. They really slam you for second/third offenses. It really depends on the state you live in. You may want to read up on it. Or let your H handle it. It's his mess. I'm sure he'll expect your 'help'.
Believe me I understand the total despair about the drinking. You can't do anything about it. You can't control it or him. Sometimes I'd like to shake my H and tell him to WAKE UP but it would be pointless. It's killing me -- and really affecting my D14. I asked her if she wanted to go to alateen, she said yes. So I'm looking into a meeting in our area (and hopefully alanon for me on the same night).
People say that once they hit rock bottom they'll wake up. That's not always true. If they're alcoholics, that won't work because they're physically addicted to it. Their brain chemistry is not like ours. They take a drink and they're hooked. It's hard to understand. But you can't change them. I've read so much about this disease. I've had to force myself to do that -- and everything I read left me feeling so hopeless. I know you've been there done that before, too.
I hope I wasn't too depressing here! But that is the big issue in my sitch that's overwhelmed me lately...
