Bring on the Rain - Part 2

[Rob1231]

mcojh is from MN too and has clued me in to a few things. H had told me that he was told by the police officer that they would probably consider it the lowest offense possible. However, we won't know the actual level of the offense until he gets the paper work. I'm going to go to the Police Dept. tomorrow and ask for a copy of the report too. This just bites.

Well, I guess the moral of the story is, when H says "Oh, it's nothing, it'll be fine" - don't believe it!

I'm scared of how it will affect my insurance coverage too. I could lose my insurance too. I may end up taking H off of my vehicle earlier than anticipated. Anyone know how that's done when he's on the loan too? Do I have to completely refinance my loan? This could really put me in a bind.

Even if THIS incident doesn't put you in a bind, don't wait for the NEXT incident that does! I hate to say it, but I hope this opens YOUR eyes even if it doesn't open HIS.

[fightingirish]

Sues..

Im sorry that you have to go through all this crap. On top of everything else. This is another reason why he is where he is. Until is willing to admit he has a problem, this will eventually escalate.

You are a better person and parent, and thank the lord that your D has you!!

As far as insurance, its probably different in each state. Do you have any friends that are in the ins. business that you could bounce this off of??

(((hugs)))

[LL44]

Hey Sue.

Your H is in destruction mode. I am so glad he is mostly even keeled at home, and still spending time with your D. So many times on here, you don't see that, and I feel awful for those kids, and the parent that has to watch their child be hurt.

So glad you have been on the road to protecting yourself. Get some answers about your title/insurance, and all of that.

Thinking of you.

[SueS]

Good morning-

Hi tal & lwb!

Well, H was very, very quiet last night when he got home. He didn't talk much or play with D4. I got D4 settled down after dinner, did a few things around the house & then settled in myself. I woke up at 2:45. No H. I went out and sat on the deck with a blanket. It was so calm & peaceful out. I was wide awake. I saw him come in the garage around 3:00 am. I went inside, at which point I heard D4 wake up. She'd had way too much water before bed & her little body woke her up! After helping her, I was putting her back to bed when H walked in. Ooopps.....Yep, Sue was up and H couldn't just sneak in. H kind of cowered in with his head down and laid down on the futon in the den. I was quiet and to the point with all conversations with H this morning. Tired of seeing it thrown in my face.

I was on my way to work and heard a great song. I cranked this way up. Remember the band Scandal? It's "Good Bye to You". Just a song to crank WAY up this morning.

Well, time to get busy. Have a good one everybody!

SueS

[Puppy Dog Tails]

LOVE that song, Sue! "Already Gone" by the Eagles is another good one. Or "I Will Not Go Quietly" by Don Henley.

Puppy

[Rob1231]

Wow, it really is sad to see someone as pathetic and lost as your H. But, you can't fix that for him - and he clearly doesn't intend to fix it for himself.

You on the other hand - keep on rockin'!

[SueS]

Puppy- Yeah, I love the other songs too. In fact, H and I were in the car together not long ago when "I'm Already Gone" game on.

Rob- Yes, lost, lost, lost describes my H. You're right, I can't fix him. I do know that. I thought for many years that I could. It's times like last night or should I say this morning, that I want out and I want out fast. I'm so, so tired of seeing the sneaking around and as I said, having it thrown in my face. I still have love for my H, but the hurt gets to be a bit much. After I fell back asleep this morning I dreamt that I yelled at my H about why he can't even have one tiny shred of respect for me.

SueS

[NoCodeBlues]

Good evening, Sue. Thanks for looking in on me this morning. You're so sweet.

I hope today was a little better for you despite Mr. Bermuda Triangle.

[JoieDeVivre]

Sue,
First time I've been on for a week or more! Been overwhelmed with stuff... I'm finishing up my lunch hour and don't have time to post now, but hopefully tonight. As if you didn't have enough to deal with ... now a DUI, too.

(((((( HUGS ))))))

Joie

[JoieDeVivre]

Sue,
Your H may be sugar-coating his DUI a bit (or perhaps he doesn't realize all this yet). It depends on the DUI laws in your state. In NJ where my H had his accident, they are ruthless! In addition to loss of license for a time, I'm sure he'll get points on his license (could be up to 8), probably community service, classes related to alcohol abuse, etc. I'm sure it will affect his insurance. I wonder if he's considered that he may need a lawyer?

But once he jumps through all the hoops, if he ever gets caught again, he'll be in even deeper crap. They really slam you for second/third offenses. It really depends on the state you live in. You may want to read up on it. Or let your H handle it. It's his mess. I'm sure he'll expect your 'help'.

Believe me I understand the total despair about the drinking. You can't do anything about it. You can't control it or him. Sometimes I'd like to shake my H and tell him to WAKE UP but it would be pointless. It's killing me -- and really affecting my D14. I asked her if she wanted to go to alateen, she said yes. So I'm looking into a meeting in our area (and hopefully alanon for me on the same night).

People say that once they hit rock bottom they'll wake up. That's not always true. If they're alcoholics, that won't work because they're physically addicted to it. Their brain chemistry is not like ours. They take a drink and they're hooked. It's hard to understand. But you can't change them. I've read so much about this disease. I've had to force myself to do that -- and everything I read left me feeling so hopeless. I know you've been there done that before, too.

I hope I wasn't too depressing here! But that is the big issue in my sitch that's overwhelmed me lately...

Joie